Of Prose and Poetry

Unexpected update:)

2010-04-04T13:32:00.006-04:00

So since I've last posted, about a zillion things have happened. I have not forgotten about blogging...but as life would have it, entries certainly come a lot less frequently. Also, if anyone knows how to get rid of spam (random spamming happening on past entries), please let me know. I've already changed my password...so other strategies are welcome.

So some very brief highlights:

I've been voted onto 2 different execs (2 different clubs) for next academic year

I will be living out of the province in May-June-ish

I'm pretty excited for the upcoming summer...and also for the next school year:)

Time Management

I've realized that while I'm pretty good at keeping in touch with a lot of different friends over the past number of years (high school, university, church, law school, work), it's actually taken quite a bit of a toll on my energy, as my schedule becomes increasingly busy with school commitments.

It's actually quite difficult to convey to people that professional school in and of itself takes up the vast majority of my mental energy: the constant deadlines, workshops, exams, recruitment info sessions, etc, etc, etc.... on top of that, about 6 hrs of readings a day and having to somehow squeeze in time for family and friends- the year has been exhausting to say the least.

Although I didn't realize it before, I do have a tendency to feel guilty when I can't be there for everyone. However, I come to a continuing realization that I am indeed only a human being with 24 hours in a day. It's frustrating when people keep asking you why you aren't there for a number of events or why you can't spend as much time with them. It's not because I don't want to be there, but my schedule and my sanity just won't permit. On a lighter note, life for law students is supposed to get better each year as we all find out better ways to manage our time- but the first year is certainly supposed to be the toughest because of all the adjustment.

So, I write this to tell everyone that if I'm not around, I promise to get back to you.... in a few weeks-a month because that is in fact the best I can do.

Hope to see all soon:)

2010-01-24T17:08:00.004-05:00

The following blog is a dedication to all of the (very random) ideas proposed by Peter (re: see comment on my last blog):

1) Insects

I think about insects about as often as I think about rodents. Never.

However, there was this one really disgusting time when I was living in Montreal and I decided that I was tired of throwing out the garbage every week and decided to let my roommates do it instead. I should have asked them directly, because the garbage was never thrown out. Consequently, our garbage became infested with maggots and it was sooooo gross! Ironically, it was still me who ended up throwing out the maggot-infested garbage. I decided on that day that I would prefer to live with clean people for the remainder of my life.

2) Non-chocolate desserts

Gelato is always good.

Also, I got a blender for Christmas and have been experimenting with various smoothie- combinations. I'm ecstatic that I get to increase my fruit intake in such a delicious manner:)

3) Elements of a TV show that intrigue me the most

I don't watch much TV to be honest. However, I just finished watching this Asian drama: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Stew_of_Life_(TVB) . Unfortunately, it was one of my least favourite dramas out of all the ones I watched. Everyone got along way too well and so there was not enough 'drama'. Plot was a little dead. Oooh and only one guy got slapped in the entire show!

4) Different brands of hand sanitizer

I'm committed to Purell. Although my dad gave me this 'neo citran' sponsored brand as well. As long as my hands are clean and I'm not sick, then it doesn't matter.

5) Women who have impacted my life the most

Sadly, I'm drawing a blank. I think I'm impacted more by circumstances than by individual people. I don't currently have a 'mentor' and nor do I feel the need to have one. I haven't had a lot of mentors in the past (for more than a few months) either. I don't know if that's a bad thing? I find that I'm a bit of solo project- I learn from my mistakes and I have a good support network and that seems to be enough for now.

However, I always thought Elizabeth Vargas was a great journalist: http://usliberals.about.com/od/thepressandjournalist1/p/EVargas.htm

2010-01-15T12:03:00.002-05:00

Dear readers:

I apologize for my sporadic blogging as of late (like as of for the past number of months). As life gets busier and time gets increasingly strained, I tend not spend my very little spare time writing up inspirational, thought-provoking and witty blurbs for your reading pleasure. Nonetheless, I do have a week off at the end of this month so I can revive this sad blog once more.

I'll take any ideas for blogging topics. Please enlighten me. If not, let's hope I get some bright ideas by then.

Sincerely,

Monica

Contemplative Christmas thoughts

2009-12-24T19:40:00.003-05:00

Well, after nearly 4 months of non-stop legal reasoning, mentally-straining and brain-discombobulating work, the semester is over at long last! Although I'm sure I forgot to write exactly one thing for 4 of 5 exams (resulting in one night of insomnia per exam), I think the semester will turn out hopefully decent (fingers crossed...expectations lowered).

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Monica's Christmas blog

So in the 'spirit' of Christmas, I thought I could encourage some of you out there to pray for the families of those who are experiencing some deep continuing grief. I've followed two particular news stories over the year, and I can't imagine how difficult it must be for these families at this time of year (regardless of whether they celebrate Christmas or not):

1) Family of Victoria Stafford
- Stafford is an 8-year old girl from Woodstock, ON who was brutally murdered earlier this year after going missing for a few months. This is the latest article I could find relating to the case: http://www.nationalpost.com/news/story.html?id=2359690

2) Families of Amanda Knox and Meredith Kercher
- This is another interesting case: Knox was one of the accused participants regarding another brutal murder of her roommate Kercher... both were exchange students studying in Italy at the time. Knox has been sentenced to life imprisonment in Italy even though she is American. From what I follow, she really wasn't given a fair trial. In spite of that, her family is currently in financial ruin because of all the legal fees associated with the case. Just thought it would be a good thing to keep both families in our prayers this Christmas.

Here's an article regarding the verdict of the case: http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/8394750.stm

--
That's all I have for now- hope it wasn't too depressing, but I think it's important to remember that there are greater problems out there besides kids not being able to afford toys that they want:)

And with that- I wish you all a Merry Christmas!

Living off adrenaline and caffeine

2009-12-11T08:48:00.003-05:00

Just a quick note (probably already obvious)- going on hiatus till the 22nd! Been meaning to update, but crazy exam schedule will not permit.

However, as a compensatory entry, I've got to say I love BBC's 'day in pictures' features:)

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/in_pictures/8407966.stm

Monica gets a mullet

2009-11-16T08:34:00.006-05:00

On Sunday, my hairdresser gave me a mullet. Like almost a mullet- that popular hairstyle that boys got in the 1990s...kind of thick and long-ish on top and then hair cut close on the neck.. I didn't ask for it. My usual hairdresser was out of town, so her brother (also a hairdresser, and probably specialist in Asian mullets) cut my hair. The entire time, he kept saying, "your hair is soooo thick!" I didn't know this meant, "therefore let me chop it all off." This is the second time this has happened. Although this time, I think this is the least amount of hair I've had in a very long time. It just happens to be cut very close to my head.

I currently look like the boy pictured in the photo with Lassie. Except the hair in the front is a little longer. But point is, it is mullet-shaped :(

Right now, I'm trying to cope with the fact that I have very little hair. I'm trying to hide the mullet by wearing headbands and using lots of hairpins.

I will take suggestions for new hairstyles.

Living through my senses

2009-11-06T20:58:00.003-05:00

Taste:
1) Lemon-y Neocitran tea (I have a cold)
2) Chamomile tea (I bring my own tea bags to school because hot water is free if you bring your own mug:)
3) Cookie dough ice cream (it sweetens up my day)

Touch/feel:
1) Slight ache in fingers from too much typing
2) Increasingly crisp autumn-almost-winter wind

Sound:
1) Law students coughing and sneezing at school making the building a hotbed for germs (I'm one of them now)
2) The persistent whirling of the wheels on my backpack (and other people's backpacks) against the ground(I have one of those 'suitcase' type bags now:)
3) My recent discovery of Taylor Swift music (I think it was played on the radio too many times...I got hooked)
4) I also listen to 10th Avenue North when I have a bad day

Sight:
1) Pages and pages and more pages of text, a bazillion cases a week and exams drawing nearer
2) Huge brown and yellow maple leaves falling from trees- I picked one up and put it in my locker but forgot to press in a book or something, so it's going to crackle and break any day now

Smell:
1) The guy who sits beside me in a few classes who smells like laundry detergent (at least that is a sign of cleanliness)
2) The scent of cheese and pepperoni from the free pizza we get (like every week) for various club meetings
3) The sterile scent of hand sanitizer (Purell is all the rage with this H1N1 scare)

Random Wisdom Acquired as of Late

2009-10-29T23:16:00.003-04:00

1) The older I get, the less time I have for self-pity and for people who dwell in self-pity. I'm wondering where to draw the line before one becomes less compassionate as a result?

2) I realize that I tend to keep more of my opinions to myself these days. I think I've become better at deciding when to start an argument. This is possibly attributed to my reading of Proverbs lately. (When words are many, sin is not absent, but he who holds his tongue is wise (Prov. 10:19))

3) So I was flipping through some newspaper ads the other day, and noticed this one ad for Halloween costumes. On one page were the kids' costumes. There were cute little costumes like 'Little Red Riding Hood' and 'Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz'. I flipped the page over and noticed that the adult women's costumes also had costumes entitled 'Little Red Riding Hood' and "Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz'. But let's just say that the adult women's costumes were not really reminiscent of what I remember from my fairy tales.

As it was said on Mean Girls (yes, I'm quoting from the movie), Halloween was "one day a year where a girl can dress up as slutty as possible and nobody can say anything about it". I've always wondered why this is? Anyways, I have come to the conclusion that Halloween (as we have come to understand it in modern day terms) is the one day a year where 'scary' or 'evil' or 'bad' or 'deviant' becomes acceptable and celebrated. So we wear fake blood, fangs and put tombstones on our front lawn and the more scary and the more extreme we go to show our Halloween spirit, the more praise we get for our efforts.

Apparently for women, deviance through expression of costume means that you should dress as provocatively as possible. But not only that, you have to do it in a way where innocence is exploited because that's even more 'bad' or 'deviant'. Hence the fact that an adult woman can turn a normally innocent little girl's costume like 'Little Red Riding Hood' and turn her into whore. I'm wondering if the women who actually spend money on these costumes know why they are buying them? I personally find exploitation of innocence kind of disturbing when I think about it.

So with these views in mind, I think Halloween for adults is kind of ridiculous if used for the above purposes....

A belated birthday announcement...

2009-10-04T09:12:00.004-04:00

So I was supposed to send a birthday email to my friend Jeremy yesterday, but forgot to do so in the midst of a lot of things. So instead, I decided to re-post this lovely portrait that I drew from one of my former blog entries...3 years ago!

It's a looong story about why I drew this....haha...

Happy birthday, my friend!

2009-09-18T19:45:00.004-04:00

Despite the hundreds of pages of readings per week,

and almost forgetting to eat lunch a few times,

and the lack of sleep in the last 2 weeks since school has started,

I think I made the perfect career choice (so far).

Lesson learned: somethings are grueling and brain-intensive but sooo worth it:)

This is an example of what I'm learning in one of my classes:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zWia3GCzyLQ

2009-09-03T22:48:00.002-04:00

My favourite quote after meeting some classmates at my law school's orientation day:

"Hey, you look familiar...did you dress up as a giant camera once?"

Sadly, the answer was an enthusiastic yes. And he remembered the Transformer who accompanied as well...hahahaha....

Done and done

2009-08-24T21:47:00.006-04:00

Travel Overview during July 30th-August 24th:

Cities/Countries visited:

London, England
Brussels, Belgium
Dole, Paris, France
Verona, Venice, Italy
Luzern, Switzerland
Rotenburg, Boppard, Frankfurt, Germany
Innsbruck, Austria
San Francisco, CA (USA)
Montreal, QC (Canada)

Things to remember from Europe(not a complete list):

London Tube system is the single most complicated subway system I have ever taken! Definitely got lost at least once a day
Going to Westminster Abbey for church service (I found out that worshippers could go in for free:)
Cobblestone streets, sky-high steeples, Romanesque statues, outdoor cafes and wall-to-wall stone and marble
Beautiful mountain landscape in Switzerland and Austria- you'd have to see it yourself...my use of adjectives will not do it justice
My favourite question from store keepers: "Where are you from?" "Canada!" "...But where are you originally from?" (apparently, not a whole lot of Asian people in Europe speaking perfect English. We were asked a number of times if we were Japanese, Korean, Thai or Taiwanese....)
Getting ridiculously lost in the narrow alleyways in Venice under the burning hot sun and asking a bunch of Italians (most of whom spoke minimal English) for directions and getting more lost until a random older man with white mustache and small dog motioned for us to follow him down this random path and pointed us down this an alleyway (which looked like all the others) that thankfully led us to our destination
Starbucks, Mcdonald's, Hello Kitty and Japanese tourists were found in EVERY country
Aggressive blackmarket salesmen in Paris trying to 'sell' us bracelets
Accidentally locking my sister in the hotel room in France due to confusing lock system and having to get the porter to save her (he opened the door in 2 seconds...very embarassing)
Medieval fortresses, towns in Germany

San Francisco highlights:

Being stuffed every single night with more Chinese food than one could ever imagine or desire (courtesy of our relatives)
Visiting the (apparently oldest/biggest?) Chinatown in the world...much of it has been preserved since Chinese people began immigrating there during the gold rush
Multi-coloured mosses on hills beside California beaches
Fresh, damp scent of the Pacific ocean
Super-steep hills all over SF! I could feel my stomach drop a little as we drove down some of those curves
Day excursion to Monterey- home of John Steinbeck and a wealth of marine life. It was pretty cool to see Spanish/English signs as opposed to French/English
Since our flight from SF to Canada was delayed, we missed our connecting flight to Calgary, so we had a lovely time of extended family for...20 hours. I used that time to read an airport-purchased book, "Escape" by former FLDS escapee, Carolyn Jessop. I definitely recommend it- a fascinating read!

Montreal highlights:
I still love the city- what more can I say? Kind of like a time warp walking down such familiar streets and visiting old, favourite spots with some friends whom I haven't seen in years. After all this time, some inside jokes will never get old!

It has been a great summer. Now I'm ready to start school next week:)

Slight Hiatus

2009-07-27T15:37:00.002-04:00

I will be traveling in random places in various parts of the universe for the next 3 weeks. Off to spend time with much-missed family members and other random strangers...who in the process might become friends (if I don't get pick-pocketed). I'll blog again upon my return:)

For Better or for worse...or until I get bored and find someone better...etc, etc...

2009-07-14T21:28:00.004-04:00

This link here is a terrific article from Time Magazine about the faltering state of the marriage institution in North America (though the article refers specifically to America). It was written a few weeks back, but I just read it today. There isn't a ton of strong secular opinion supporting the 'traditional' family structure, so this as good of an article as I've found on this topic. I also like how the author explores the impact of income gaps on marriage and family.

With media scandal after scandal, it seems like infidelity is some kind of growing (or persisting fad) that is increasingly pervading our world today. I suppose it might seem like old news, but the fact that it is becoming more of a norm is rather disturbing. What kind of families are the next generation of children going to grow up in? Are commitment and sacrifice values which have worn out their welcome? I suppose marriage seems so unappealing to people of my generation because marriage seems so easily broken apart. As a result, casual co-habitation and a possible notion of commitment for maybe a lifetime unless I choose to leave (because I have left myself the option doing so) has been the substitute.

I agree with everything in this article except for the part where the author says couples who raise children don't need to be married...they just need to act like a married couple. It's a bit silly to do everything possible to avoid being married. If you're going to act married, why not just be married?

Anyways, this article is worth a read. I included an excerpt below:

An excerpt:

"The squalor and pain that resulted from the Sanford and Ensign midlife crises make manifest a bleak truth that the late writer Leonard Michaels once observed in his journal: "Adultery is not about sex or romance. Ultimately, it is about how little we mean to one another."

And so two more American families discover a truth as old as marriage: a lasting covenant between a man and a woman can be a vehicle for the nurture and protection of each other, the one reliable shelter in an uncaring world — or it can be a matchless tool for the infliction of suffering on the people you supposedly love above all others, most of all on your children.

In the past 40 years, the face of the American family has changed profoundly. As sociologist Andrew J. Cherlin observes in a landmark new book called The Marriage-Go-Round: The State of Marriage and the Family in America Today, what is significant about contemporary American families, compared with those of other nations, is their combination of "frequent marriage, frequent divorce" and the high number of "short-term co-habiting relationships." Taken together, these forces "create a great turbulence in American family life, a family flux, a coming and going of partners on a scale seen nowhere else. There are more partners in the personal lives of Americans than in the lives of people of any other Western country."

An increasingly fragile construct depending less and less on notions of sacrifice and obligation than on the ephemera of romance and happiness as defined by and for its adult principals, the intact, two-parent family remains our cultural ideal, but it exists under constant assault. It is buffeted by affairs and ennui, subject to the eternal American hope for greater happiness, for changing the hand you dealt yourself. Getting married for life, having children and raising them with your partner — this is still the way most Americans are conducting adult life, but the numbers who are moving in a different direction continue to rise. Most notably, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention reported in May that births to unmarried women have reached an astonishing 39.7%.

How much does this matter? More than words can say. There is no other single force causing as much measurable hardship and human misery in this country as the collapse of marriage. It hurts children, it reduces mothers' financial security, and it has landed with particular devastation on those who can bear it least: the nation's underclass"

Thoughts?

ESL 101

2009-07-11T18:28:00.003-04:00

So this month's fun and exciting activity involves teaching ESL to a group of high school kids across the city at a local school. So far...so good:) If I wasn't studying to be a lawyer, teacher's college would have been very tempting. Although we have a basic curriculum we could follow, my partner and I have spent quite a bit of time designing our own assignments, games and activities for the kids in order to meet their language abilities. It's been a really different experience coming into a school everyday as a teacher...getting to hang out with the other teachers in the staff room before class and standing all morning instead of sitting for hours in an office. Very rewarding, but very, very tiring! Thank goodness this is only a month-long commitment, or else I'd probably be exhausted by the end of the summer.

What I've learned so far about teaching:

1) As a teacher, you are standing in front of the classroom for at least an hour at a time(or however long the class is). As I recall from my previous student days, kids notice everything about their teachers. You are staring at them for such a long time! All the weird quirks. When I was in high school, I remember my classmates and I could distinguish a teacher's fashion style, random habits among many other things (ie: messy hair, coffee breath, saying '...right?' after every sentence, etc.) But of course, teachers never really know what their kids think of them. We only talked about them behind their backs!

I've been wondering this week whether the kids noticed the chalk dust I was getting all over my black shirt (I've decided to only wear black if I'm using the marker board) or how I talk excessively with my hands or make random jokes to lighten the mood.

2) It's really not enough to know something- being able to make someone else understand is a monumental task. Often, teaching is a trade of trial and error. As a student, I admit to constantly criticizing my teachers for distributing unclear assignments, having unfair expectations and the like. However, giving an assignment that gives the student an appropriate level of challenge (without debilitating their self-esteem when they realize the assignment is beyond their ability) requires very careful judgment!

I made soo many mistakes this week! Ie: had to cut down the level of difficulty in the spelling dictations and had to give more handouts rather than simply lecturing- I forgot that early on in high school, teachers still give handouts. Kids at that age aren't used to copying things down while the teacher talks...it's not university yet!

3) Teaching can be stressful simply because teachers can't ever have 'off' days. You can't tell your kids to teach themselves because you're really tired and had a rough night. You have to be ready to go every morning and leave your issues at home.

Gliding (or crashing) through trees

2009-06-27T22:30:00.005-04:00

There are times when I sign myself up for things, and then later ask myself why I would do such a thing. For example, today I went zip-lining for the first time. Why would I want to zip across cable wires like 20 or so metres above the ground (sometimes water) when I have an awful fear of heights? I included some pictures off the website of the place we went to today and some of the obstacle courses I completed. I wanted to take my own pictures, but I was afraid of dropping my camera into the abyss below.

3.5 hours later, after slamming into one tree (braked a bit too slow...haha- got a slight bruise), gliding on a hundred of so feet of zip lines and treading on increasingly high wobby cable cords and wooden swing contraptions, I can honestly say that I had a lot of fun!

Today, I discovered that my body (no matter how uncoordinated and clumsy) is stronger and more capable than I thought! Even though I thought I was totally going to puke on those high wires, I didn't fall off and I didn't die (because I wouldn't be writing this otherwise). There were definitely times when I was soo exhausted near the end of the course and wanted to give up, but of course, giving up wasn't an option when you're that high up in the air walking on wires, so I had to keep going. There is something so liberating about being able to push myself past my physical limits and to conquer my fears! I'm still in awe that I came out alive...though quite sore. In conclusion, if I came out alive and had fun, probably anyone can do this.

Female external superficialities

2009-06-22T11:50:00.013-04:00

So I recently discovered this site: http://www.therebelution.com/modestysurvey/browse

(I dedicate this blog to all my Christian friends involved in the clothing/modesty debates we've had in the past)

Who cares?!

As ridiculous as it might seem to the average reader, Christians men and women care about modesty because of this: 1 Timothy 2:9 "I also want women to dress modestly, with decency and propriety, not with braided hair or gold or pearls or expensive clothes..."

So who would waste their time compiling men's opinions on the minute details of women's clothing? It's not like I really want to spend time revamping my wardrobe and throwing out anything that got an overwhelming response for 'immodest'(like as if I have anything classified as such..haha).

While I take this survey with a (huge) grain of salt, I actually do think it's interesting to take a look at the results. The way you dress yourself should show an element of respect for people around you, which includes both men and women- and that's why men's opinions sometimes do matter in this case. It's not really a matter of being domineering on a woman's style, I would argue that it's because many men don't want to accidentally look at a woman in a disrespectful manner.

The motive behind the clothes: the psychological aspect of women and wardrobe

I wish there was a section where women could give comments. I would actually argue that most women do not dress with the sole intention of getting a male reaction (ie: girls do not buy clothes thinking, 'I bet this shirt will get all the men staring at me'. Or, 'I will wear makeup today to catch a man's eye'). It's just not the first thing that comes to mind for most girls.

Rather, clothes, jewelry as well as makeup are all methods of conveying personal self-expression.. a certain aspect of personality, a mood, etc. Therefore, to many girls, clothing means more than just a covering of the body. Also, some girls wear a lot of makeup because they have a more dramatic personality. It might be argued that wearing a lot of makeup doesn't always look great on a girl, but that would be a matter of taste, not modesty. Clothing is an interpretation of the way we feel about ourselves and how we choose to communicate this interpretation externally to the rest of the world. While this doesn't excuse immodesty, I do think it's important to point out the fact that girls in many circumstances really don't dress 'immodestly' (however we define it) on purpose.

The most important factor in determining modesty is the motive behind the image portrayed. While it's important, respectful and thoughtful for women to take into account other people's opinions (from both men and women), this is always going to be a 'grey area' topic...you really can't please everyone.

Also, despite what a woman is wearing, she still needs to be treated with utmost respect (ie: hooting, hollering and speaking about women in derogatory terms behind her back are never permissible regardless of how she is dressed).

Jesus and Wine

2009-05-27T21:12:00.004-04:00

Interesting article (written back in the spring- found this when I was FB stalking). Sums up why some Christians don't drink alcohol. And also, why the 'but Jesus drank wine' argument is kind of silly.

When I was doing my undergrad, I actually took an informal alcohol ban for about 3 years for some very similar reasons as stated below. It's not that I didn't like the taste or that I didn't appreciate the cultural implications associated with drinking alcohol, but rather I had a bigger problem with the environment in which it was being consumed. Campus culture seemed to be pressuring students to take on a lifestyle that...really didn't suit everyone, and really didn't seem like such a great idea to me. Therefore, in an attempt to be counter-cultural, I chose not to drink for most of my university years.

Since graduating, I still drink sparingly. I have all due respect for people- Christians or not- who do drink. Personally, I just plain don't enjoy going to bars or pubs all that much. I actually find them waaay too loud, kind of smelly and obviously, full of drunk people. It's not really all that relaxing or fun for me. Clearly, I'm more of a coffee shop personality.

---------------
Why Jesus Drank Wine and I Don’t

By Denn Guptill

Every wedding has a story. Perhaps the most famous wedding faux pas was the one where they hadn’t ordered enough wine, and halfway through the festivities the proverbial well ran dry. This story will never be forgotten—not because of the blunder, but because of how the mistake was corrected: Jesus miraculously turned water into wine, and everyone had enough to drink (John 2:1-11).

It’s a great story; it reveals a lot about Jesus’ character and personality. But sometimes I wish John had skipped it. It would have made it easier to justify The Wesleyan Church’s stance on alcohol consumption:

To demonstrate a positive social witness by abstaining from all forms of gambling and by abstaining from using or trafficking (production, sale or purchase) in any substances destructive to their physical, mental and spiritual health, such as alcoholic beverages, tobacco and drugs (other than proper medical purposes of drugs). (From The Discipline 265:4)

Often when people hear about our stance they say, “But Jesus drank wine!” I concede that it does appear Jesus drank wine, and I will not insult your intelligence by trying to convince you that he turned the water into grape juice. As one pastor said, “Jesus turned the water into wine, and for the past two thousand years we’ve been trying to change it back.”

So because I’m sure I’m not the only one to field those questions, I thought this would be a great place to address why Jesus drank wine and I don’t.
It Was a Different Time

Imagine living in a time when water supplies were used for bathing and washing clothes, and there was no effective way to treat wastewater.

Add to that a lack of refrigeration, and you can understand what Palestine was like 2000 years ago. Drinking untreated water would have been dangerous, and the most practical solution was to use the antiseptic qualities of alcohol.

They drank wine 2000 years ago because there weren’t many options; today there are. You can go to a tap and get a glass of clean, safe water. You can go to your fridge and get a glass of cold milk or juice. If you need to take a beverage on a trip there are hundreds of safe options.

I don’t drink because I have other options.

It Was a Different Place

In Jesus’ day, wine was an important part of everyday life—from meals to celebrations. However, drinking alcohol was not recreational. Drunkenness was a social taboo, much like how people feel about drunk driving today.

Our culture’s view on drinking today is typified by writer Stephen King in his autobiography On Writing: “I found the idea of social drinking ludicrous—if you didn’t want to get drunk, why not just have a Coke?” Drinking a little in our culture can easily become drinking a lot. As Francis Scott Fitzgerald said: “First you take a drink, then the drink takes a drink, then the drink takes you.”

The scriptures do not clearly prohibit drinking, but it does prohibit drunkenness. Strongly. Galatians 5:19–21 says, “When you follow the desires of your sinful nature, the results are very clear: sexual immorality, impurity, lustful pleasures, idolatry, sorcery, hostility, quarreling, jealousy, outbursts of anger, selfish ambition, dissension, division, envy, drunkenness, wild parties, and other sins like these. Let me tell you again, as I have before, that anyone living that sort of life will not inherit the Kingdom of God” (NLT). That’s harsh: drunkenness will keep you out of heaven.

When does having a drink become drunkenness? I’m not exactly sure where that line would be for me—or whether when I got close to the line I would be able to keep on this side of it—so I don’t toe it.

I don’t drink because my culture doesn’t require it and often abuses it.

It Was a Different Brew

The wine that Jesus drank 2000 years ago wasn’t a whole lot different than the wine that is around today—somewhere between 3 and 11% alcohol content; but it was mixed with water, usually two parts water and one part wine. And there was nothing stronger than wine. Distillation was not discovered until about 1500 A.D. When the Bible speaks of strong drink, it’s referring to unmixed wine.

Are you going to follow Jesus’ example by drinking? Then you should be willing to limit your alcohol consumption to what his would have been. Also, if you intend to copy him, keep in mind that he prayed with devotion, he studied the Word of God, he fasted, and he tithed—not to mention that he gave up his life for others.

I don’t drink because it’s not even close to what Jesus was all about.

It Hurts Others

I have stood at the coffin of a teenager killed by a drunk driver, I have sat across the desk from women abused by drunk husbands, and I have seen marriages dissolve because of alcohol abuse. Addiction to alcohol happens subtly, and the results are devastating.

I don’t ever want to be someone’s example to drink. You might be able say that Denn drove you to drink, but you will never be able to say that you drink because Denn does. Romans 14:21 says, “It is better not to eat meat or drink wine or do anything else if it might cause another believer to stumble” (NLT).

I don’t drink because I will not support an industry that destroys lives, wrecks marriages, and kills people.

The Bible does not order you not to drink. But it does say, “Don’t be drunk with wine, because that will ruin your life. Instead, be filled with the Holy Spirit, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs among yourselves, and making music to the Lord in your hearts,” Ephesians 5:18-19 (NLT).

If you so badly want to drink, ask yourself why. And ask yourself what would be missing if you gave it up.

— Denn Guptil is a pastor and columnist

Moving onto the next stage: Step 1

2009-04-25T10:56:00.002-04:00

As planned, I'm moving out of my house in about...2 hours? For those of you wondering why I'm leaving, it is to save money so I don't have work for the whole summer.

I hate goodbyes. Not necessarily just with people. Sometimes places and inanimate objects can hold a ton of significance. 3 other roommates are also moving out/on their way out, so the house is dispersing fast.

Things I will miss:

- The radio in the kitchen
- Experimenting with new recipes
- Our collection of dvds
- The really good-smelling soaps my roommate also had stocked up
- The baked goods often exchanged amongst us
- My housemates (duuhhh)

Things I will be glad to have again:

- Access to a vehicle! Church is an impossible bus ride away- now I can come home before 11:30pm and not worry about being kidnapped on the walk back home...haha
- Watching Asian dramas with mom
- Saving money

**
One thing I've been teaching myself (or really, I've been forced to learn) is to never look back with regret. At anything. It's amazing how little we can really control in our lives, and yet we give ourselves so much credit. At the same time, I guess it's a bit of a relief...I mean, it takes off a lot of pressure. I'm strangely excited for the next 3 years (ie: law school) rather than anticipating impending doom like I was before. I said a prayer by the Ottawa River the other day (new favourite hang out spot on lunch break). Facing forward with patience, grace, humility.

Monica's Movie Review List

2009-04-11T14:08:00.004-04:00

So over the past year, I realize I've watched a ton of movies- mostly because we don't have cable at our house, so bonding over DVDs seemed to be quite convenient. Some of the movies I've watched include the following...I decided to give my own ratings on a scale of 5 stars (5 being the best):

Title: Hairspray
Rating: ***
Monica's Comments: After getting over John Travolta being a woman, the movie is pretty fun to watch.

Title: What Happened in Vegas
Rating: **
Monica's Comments: This was the one of the first movies we watched, and I've got to say I'm not an Ashton Kutcher fan nor am I much of a Cameron Diaz fan...

Title: 88 minutes
Rating: *
Monica's Comments: I don't like psycho thrillers- what can I say?

Title: Saved
Rating ****
Monica's Comments: Pretty hilarious/satirical movie about evangelical Christians starring Mandy Moore! Some people will probably find it mildly offensive, but I'll say I laughed through most of it.

Title: Girls Just Want to Have Fun
Rating: **0.75
Monica's Comments: Pretty fun movie...definitely a chick flick. Stars a young Sarah Jessica Parker and Helen Hunt. The script is kind of corny though, but that makes it more fun altogether.

Title: Footloose
Rating: ***0.5
Monica's Comments: A classic movie about small-town which bans dancing in the community-- a lot of discussion about Christian values, references to Biblical verses too. Pretty interesting and definitely recommended. I didn't like the abusive boyfriend bit though- find those things pretty disturbing. Aaand, I thought all the women in the movie were rather diminutive in personality.

Title: Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
Rating: ***
Monica's Comments: Maybe it would have been better if I read the book first! I was pretty confused with all the crazy gadgetry and wild colours- still a wacky movie though and fun for the whole family!

Title: High School Musical 3
Rating: ***0.5
Monica's Comments: The choreography was great. The plot was pretty predictable. Songs were fun. A squeaky-clean teen movie for a change...which was pretty fun.

Title: Elf
Rating: ***0.5
Monica's Comments: Hilarious...what else can I say?

Title: 13 going on 30
Rating: ****
Monica's Comments: So cute!!

Title: PS: I Love You
Rating: ***0.5
Monica's Comments: Very well-done romantic-drama-type movie with Hilary Swank.

Title: Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist
Rating: ****
Monica's Comments: Very creative movie...comedy about teen culture and how it's interwoven with the music scene. Watched it last night. The barf scene was pretty gross. The characters were very believable.

My Successful Attempt at Non-Fiction

2009-03-15T22:46:00.004-04:00

If you know me well enough, you would know that I much prefer fiction to non-fiction reading material. However, I joined this book club a few months ago, and it's kind of cool because I've been challenged to read books I ordinarily would not pick up.

I recently finished The Omnivore's Dilemma by Michael Pollan and I've got to say that this guy is one of the most brilliant authors I've ever read.

Pollan, an American journalist, closely investigates and participates in the creation of 4 different meals (fast food, organic, locally-grown and hunted/gathered)and pretty much provides everything you could ever want to know about where your food comes from.

He combines politics, agriculture science, history, and philosophy (there's a really interesting section on vegetarian ethics)into food-eating! It's pretty impossible to eat mindlessly ever again after this...

It's 400+ pages and pretty dense, but definitely informative, creative, analytical and therefore worth the time to indulge.

Excerpt:

"But imagine for a moment if we once again knew, strictly as a matter of course, these few unremarkable things: what it is we're eating. Where it came from. How we it found its way to our table. And what, in a true accounting, it really cost. We could then talk about some other things at dinner. For we would no longer need any reminding that however we choose to feed ourselves, we at byt the grace of nature, not industry, and what we're eating is never anything more or less than the body of the world."

Bits and Pieces

2009-03-08T17:58:00.003-04:00

1) Trip down memory lane

Some things never change. Over the weekend, I was at Carleton University with a friend for a presentation, which allowed me to step foot on my former campus for the first time in months since I had handed in my thesis! Walking through the tunnels, I felt this strange lingering feeling of familiarity amidst the thick, damp smell of the air ventilators and the paper-coated poster boards. If I wasn't paying attention (and if it wasn't a Saturday evening), I'm pretty sure I would have strolled right into the Arthur Kroeger College on my way to print off one of my fifteen papers for the year.

Even though I've definitely graduated, it still feels like my campus...which is pretty cool.

2)De-framed

Fifteen years later, I got rid of the glasses! I gave contacts another try, and the little films of plastic (or whatever they are) are actually sitting comfortably over my eyeballs as I'm typing this!

Honestly, my frames have been part of my face for so long, I actually had to stare in the mirror for a good 5 minutes before recognizing myself! Because of my moderately high prescription, I actually don't get a chance to see myself (clearly) all that often without the frames. The first thing I realized about my face was..just how much face there was. My frames would usually take up a good quarter of that space. Weird. I know. I'm still deciding how much I like them.

However, I want the world to know that I actually still like my glasses! Just wanted to try something new. What really bothers me are those corny teen movies where the nerdy character gets this makeover which involves removing the glasses in order for everyone to see that this individual is actually smoking hot. This always bothered me because I actually think frames in the appropriate shape and colour can be very flattering! In conclusion, I like my frames and will still wear them when desired.

3) September plans

So I know I told everyone that I was going to Calgary for sure, but after getting Ottawa's offer, the program here (which was originally my first choice) sounds great and I don't know if I want to pass this up. I am still able to revoke my acceptance of the offer at Calgary (I did ask before accepting)...which I don't think I will...but I'm still going to have think/pray about this before deciding in the next 3 weeks. Will update more later.

2009-03-02T19:44:00.002-05:00

To say that it was a blustery first week of March would be somewhat of an understatement. Today was -27 degrees with the wind chill. In a word, it was absolutely freezing. And I quote a friend's words, "why would anyone want to live in Ottawa?!"

So why the heck do some women go out in short skirts???? I could have sworn the lady sitting across from me on the bus had slightly purple legs. I on the other hand have been wearing long johns under my pants everyday since like November. Maybe it was the bright sunshine that threw people off...

Karing for Kids

2009-02-23T19:32:00.004-05:00

Tonight I was doubly insulted....for a cost of 20 dollars. The story is as follows:

It was a bitterly cold and blustery February evening. I had just made dinner aftering coming home from a long day at the office: a colour stirfry consisting red and yellow peppers, slices of onion and snow peas on fried rice with soy sauce, teriyaki sauce and chili sauce. I also had a side of chicken and 2 spare ribs. And a cup of green-tangerine tea (for those who don't know, I cook to de-stress and to process my day).

I had just turned on the TV to watch an episode of Lois and Clark from Season 3, when there was an unexpected knock at the door. Thinking it was my roommate who might have forgotten her keys, I answered the door.

I was mistaken. Instead, a really cold, tired, flustered-looking lady with frizzy brown hair and a lot of mascara, possibly in her mid-late thirties stood in the doorway.

She had a slight French accent as she spoke, leaning against my screen door (it was kind of humourous, actually):

Lady: "Hi...are your parents home?"

Monica gives the lady a slightly annoyed look, understand that this meant she looked like she was under the age of 18, and therefore too young to sign cheques or make donations, buy things from strangers without her parents' help.

Lady: "oh..or do you own this house...?" (she looked slightly doubtful)

Monica: "I live with here with 4 other roommates. Can I help with something?"

Lady: "Oh are you students?"

Monica looks slightly annoyed at the lady again, understanding that this meant she looked like she was possibly over the age of 18, but there was no way she could be finished her degree. Maybe it was her sweatpants and fuzzy slippers with Harry Potter-esque scarf. Monica, thankfully having a sense of humour, decides to let this go.

Monica: "A few of us are students...I'm working full-time."

Lady: "So would you like to make a donation to Kare for Kids? We're a certified charity with the government and we're raising money to help kids in developing countries get surgeries."

Monica looks at the name tag and brochure. It looked valid. Monica, being the compassionate person that she is, looks at the lady standing there all cold and tired. She decides to make a donation. She lets the lady stand inside the hall closet so she can warm up while Monica writes a cheque. A conversation ensues about international development, which Monica points out was something she specialized in while at school.

Lady: "So what do you want to do with your degree?"

Monica: "Well, I'm working this year and will be starting my law degree in September."

Lady: "Oh really? What kind of law do you want to practice?"

Monica: "I'm not entirely sure yet. Maybe something to do with international law or issues of social justice--"

Lady bursts out LAUGHING. "Hahahaa! You think you're going to help people? Lawyers are the most corrupt people in the world! Ha! You young people are so idealistic! You think you're actually going to help people! Trust me, it's not going to be what you think... (she goes on for a little while longer about how my efforts to improve conditions for humankind will be forever futile)"

Monica stands there dumbfounded, hands the lady the cheque (because she still wants to help needy kids), forces an awkward smile and says she won't be corrupted easily.

***
So I really hope I made the right decision career-wise. Some days I still question myself. But being the type of person who always follows through with her actions, I'm not about to cancel my acceptance. With due time, or within the next 3 years when I'll be at school, maybe I'll have a clearer direction of what do do with my education.

Ottawa's Controversial Media Campaigns: My Stance

2009-02-12T19:40:00.006-05:00

So to make up for my lack of blogging last month, I'm going to blog for the second time in the past week. So two ads have been catching my eye lately, and probably yours as well if you live here.

1) Virgin Radio

I find it really disturbing that these ads have been everywhere in the city. Some people find it funny. Some people don't know what to think- it's just kind of shocking. Other people find it disturbing and offensive. I'm going to put myself in the latter camp. I say that because of the following reasons:

Huge media campaign blitzes plan out every single little detail. Nothing is there by coincidence. So let's look at the chosen language here: "Lock up your daughters": this simple phrase implies 2 things. First of all, that the girls are somehow in danger and cannot protect themselves against the powerful 'gods of rock'. Secondly, that this ad is implying that "daughters" need to be protected. Therefore, these female subjects are most likely not grown-up adults, but young girls under the care of parents/guardians. The contrast between 'gods of rock' and the helpless 'daughters' in need of locking up is pretty disturbing to say the least.

Since the girls are pregnant in this ad and not looking so happy, it alludes to the possibility of an unwanted teen pregnancy. Since the girls were warned beforehand to be locked up to avoid 'danger', this ad is promoting the possibility that the girls might have been raped.

Also, the setting in the pictures are usually pretty dismal...girl at a coin laundry, doing ironing, etc. also seems to suggest that these women are from a lower income bracket.

Everything about these ads are distasteful. Using women and sexuality to sell music is pretty low.

2) Freethought Association first introduced this campaign in the UK and it is now headed for Canada. Check this article here for more info.

So I actually don't have a problem with this organization voicing its opinion and 'encouraging discussion', I do have a problem with the chosen slogan. Again, no campaign chooses its words carelessly. Like the Virgin ad, I suppose these ads are supposed to be humourous (what is with Ottawa and its awful sense of humour?), but what in the world is this assumption that people who believe in God worry all the time and don't 'enjoy' life? I think that's a pretty ignorant and condescending statement to make. For example, the entire Christian faith is built on the doctrine of forgiveness from your guilt and sin because of the existence of a loving God.

These ads are basically saying that all people who do believe in a God are silly for doing so because they are immersing themselves in unnecessary guilt when they could be out enjoying life. And the whole 'freedom of speech' argument is pretty weak, when such speech borders on being disrespectful. Knowing my apathetic city, I will be surprised if Ottawa rejects these ads.

Random Thoughts

2009-02-09T18:42:00.002-05:00

Now that the bus strike is over, I can see daylight before coming into my office. Namely, I no longer have to wake up at 5:20am to get a ride to work. I believe this means my vitamin D intake will now increase.

The number of Asian people I know going into law and medicine (or something science-related) is scarily large. It makes me feel really unoriginal. I feel as if I should have done something much cooler with my career. Kind of wished I decided to join the circus or something. Maybe eat fire for a living.

So my dad never fails to remind me time and time again never to walk home/to my car late at night without being escorted because "I am a girl". However, I wonder if it's really because I'm a girl or is it because I'm a 'small girl'? Like if I was 6 foot 2 and 200 lbs, would I still need to get someone to walk me to the car simply because I'm female? Also, if a guy was 4'10 and 100 lbs, would he need someone to walk him to the car? He could totally get mugged. Therefore, is personal safety discriminated based on gender or size...hmmmmm...think about it.

Welcome to Ottawa, Where both the Federal and now the Muncipal Governments are Screwed

2009-01-19T19:15:00.005-05:00

So in case you haven't heard, public transit has not been running for 41 days and counting in Ottawa. I've been SO incredibly angry at both the ATU (Amalgamated Transit Union) and the City of Ottawa for their inability to negotiate over something as simple as scheduling. I refuse to believe that finding a compromise over appropriate working hours is really worth draining our already recession-suffering economy by $4 million losses each week and forcing 850,000 citizens to fight hours of gridlock traffic in the dead of Canadian winter (last week it got down to -39 C). That is, if they are lucky enough to fight traffic- I know a number of people who walked to work/school in this weather. The amount of money spent on parking, taxi cabs, gas, etc is absolutely ridiculous. It is inexcusable that the strike most exploits those who are most vulnerable and dependent on transit.

It is beyond me how the ATU and the City can possibly keep placing the blame on the other side without ever having claimed any responsibility or regret for their part in perpetuating this ongoing municipal disaster.

Some of the views on the bus strike from people in Ottawa... (letters found on CBC)

--------
DREW

Ottawa

Dear Mom and Dad -

What's it like to live in Ottawa during the transit strike? Well, remember that time I got mugged? It's like that. I feel assaulted physically and emotionally and someone has taken my money. Only it's worse than getting mugged, because it happens every day. Twice. Once going to work, and once coming home. And I'm one of the lucky ones who still has a job to go to. Remember when I was scared to go outside after being mugged? This is worse. When I was scared, I was choosing to remain indoors. My right to choose has been taken from me as well. What's really funny is that this is the capital city of Canada and nobody cares. It's like the whole city is being beaten and robbed, suffering is everywhere, and there doesn't seem to be anyone anywhere who can do anything. So on top of everything we all feel abandoned and invisible. If businesses and residential homes were destroyed in a tropical storm and the damage was visual, it would be front page news and something would have been done. In this situation the damage, with maybe the exception of congested traffic, is not visible. But the damage is just as great, if not worse. It's personal, physical, emotional and financial and it's affecting everyone. It's criminal. It's morally reprehensible. Guess that's politics for you! Isn't that bizarre? So don't bother coming this winter - we'll have to skate on the canal another time.

P.S. Please send money.

--------
Mary Lou Petrella

Toronto

My daughter works for the YMCA school programs. She goes between 2 schools in the day.It costs her $20.00 for a taxi 3 ways...She makes $66.00 per day so she comes home with $6.00 for working the 6 hours that they give her.She needs to keep this job to pay for her school debt and living. How can she live on $120.00 a month that she gets.I am certain that many young people like her living in the margins of income are facing a dire predicament. We are talking about possible starvation and eviction for some and medical care for others.Transit is an essential service,more so now than ever before in this century.The marginalized have no options but transit.At this time of year and in this economic uncertainty,this strike should never have been allowed.We are a smart and industrialized and humane country. How can we treat our citizens this way?I believe in mediation and negotiation and this avenue needs to be open while the services continue.Is it not the taxpayers that support these services economically?Shame on our Capital City for this atrocity!

-------------
Ellen

Ottawa

The other day when the temperature sank like a stone, I had a doctors' appointment. I am a 49 yr old woman with a heart condition. [Extremely cold air can be very hard on the heart]. When dressing, I made sure some of my mid length white hair stuck out from my hat. Though the air was frigid, I kept my scarf from covering my face. Holding my bag in my hand rather than slinging it across my back was yet another subtle style clue I adopted to clearly identify myself to drivers as a woman. I walked to the busy main street in my area, positioned myself in a zone that allowed drivers to easily pull over and stuck out my thumb.

Hitch hiking is like waiting for someone to pick you for the team. But as each car went by without slowing, my self esteem began to sting like the wind on my cheeks. As car upon car travelled by, anger brewed. At first I chastised myself for thinking I was entitled to a ride. I am not a person who usually asks for help. This was a time of need and my fellow citizen was not there for me. After a time, I realized I had to begin walking or I would be too late for my appointment. This occurrence was not an anomoly, it happened on the way back home, in all, at four different locations that day.

The anger has since been replaced with sadness. I wonder why people do not reach out to help even when asked. A cold front has rolled in and I just heard the crackle of my half full glass of humanity as it turned to ice.

-----
Conclusion? When (like I'm guessing in March when they are back in full service) OC buses get back and running, the drivers lives are pretty much going to suck even more. I'm predicting riots and awful spats between drivers and riders. And probably somebody is going to egg City Hall. Ottawa is not going to be a pretty sight in the months to come.

2009-01-12T19:17:00.003-05:00

Over the past few years, I've realized that I've become an increasingly impatient person- both with myself and with others. More than that, I've realized how restless I get during prolonged periods of silence and inactivity.

But sometimes, in those moments, over a hot cup of berry chai at Starbucks and musing over Michael Ignatieff's "Lesser Evil (a PAPM book I never got around to reading), I came to sporadic conclusions on a number of random and sometimes important things.

Some things I've learned in the past....undetermined length of time:

1) Preserving personal sanity should take precedence over all other decisions

2) No matter how much time I spend in school, there is always going to be so much that I don't know.

3) No matter how friendly I try to be with someone, there's no guarantee that the other person will appreciate it or even take notice.

4) While I get along with most people of a variety of personality types, there are a number people whom I will probably never be best friends with, and those people usually are: obnoxious, careless, rude, carry ignorant convictions, overly negative....-- but no matter how irritating some people are, it is always better to react with gentleness rather than heated argument. It usually produces a much more desirable result. And, they are bound to listen to you more.

5) By nature, I'm very competitive and argumentative. Sometimes, it's ok to let go of a really pointless argument (refer to point 4) and move on with life. Invest time and energy for things that really matter. This takes both humility and maturity.

== And the learning curve continues...

2008-12-28T16:28:00.003-05:00

So 3 days ago (aka: Christmas day), I tried to publish a Christmas edition blog. Unfortunately, something went weird electronically and it didn't allow me to publish it. So today, I tried publishing it again to see what would happen, and well... it worked. A bit late...ummm but it's there (see below).

My Christmas Blog....hope it's not too late

2008-12-25T22:24:00.009-05:00

Santa and his "Christmas Magic"
Over the years (maybe it's because I'm getting old and crusty...), I've wondered to myself more and more: why the heck is the whole world lying to its children about some random old guy flying though the air on a reindeer-sleigh to bring them gifts? I mean this year, I heard on the news that there is now some kind of GPS system to track down Santa and his journey around the world....you can write letters to Santa (and he'll write back), you call him and now you can track him electronically. If I went around telling all the little children that the world was lying to them and Santa was just a hoax, I'm thinking I'd probably be arrested or something. It’s simply not acceptable to do that; in fact I’m sure it’s probably kind of evil to dash kids’ dreams at Christmas time.

If you ask parents why they bother to play Santa each year, they’ll probably say they do it because ‘it’s fun’ or it reminds them of when they were children, and I suppose that somehow we celebrate Christmas because it brings out the inner child in all of us- who doesn’t want to live in world where magic can happen, reindeer can fly and all your heart’s most desired toys are sitting under a beautifully decorated pine tree in your living room? The ability of people young and old to share in this fantastical world of Santa Claus and toy-making elves is the essence of Christmas spirit and Christmas ‘magic’ that North Americans speak so broadly about. There is something special about child-like faith and the ability to simply ‘believe’ in miracles.

Christmas for all people

Although increasingly, Christmas is being celebrated as a secular holiday, I think there are some underlying themes that are shared amongst Christians and non-Christians alike.

Christmas began with infamous story of baby Jesus born in a manger with shepherds, angels, wisemen and bright shining stars. Forget all the political-correctness, doctrinal debates and religious controversy: this night is one of simplicity, holiness and innocence. In the same way, we North Americans have the same desire for the sentiments displayed that night in Bethlehem and we express it through our Christmas caroling, tree-decorating and Santa story-telling.

I love the Christmas story because the birth of Jesus reminds me of His one simple message often hidden today behind bad politics and ugly disputes: the powerful gift of salvation to a faithless, broken world wrapped up in humble and beautiful beginnings.

(I wish I could wrap this up a little less abruptly, but I'm super-tired and going to bed)- Merry Christmas!

2008-12-17T07:57:00.003-05:00

In the midst of this awful transit strike here in Ottawa leaving thousands of people (including myself) stranded and delayed for work, school, appointments, Christmas shopping and forced to drive in perilous weather conditions..... any good news would be great to hear.

I received a piece of good news yesterday afternoon.

The law faculty at U of Calgary just gave me an early acceptance??!!!! I'm still waiting on a few more schools, but this was great news yesterday- sooo encouraging. And very, very thankful. I wonder if I should bother to finish up those grad school applications...

"How is it you eat so much and stay so small?"

2008-12-09T19:42:00.003-05:00

I've been asked this on many occasions and now I think I've found the answer.

So if you've been anywhere near me during my university years, you'll probably notice that I eat a lot of food during my sometimes 10-12 hours at school. I pretty much snack every 2-3 hours. In a 3 hour lecture, I can go through a thermos of pasta, a fruit bar, a granola bar and a container of grapes. Although, it really depends on the professor....the amount I eat is more or less correlated with the level of boring-ness... the more boring the professor, the more I eat o'.'o

Since I just started working full-time and living away from home, I don't have as much time (or creativity) to prepare elaborate meals. Especially for the days where I straight from work to church and don't come home until 9pm.

Anyways, I noticed how tired I was getting lately...like ridiculously tired! Faint, slurred speech, headaches, dizziness, etc.... and I finally went to the doctor and I am.... hypoglycemic??!!

I had no idea what that meant- my (Cantonese) doctor went on a rant about how I can't eat like those 'Canadians' who eat salads for lunch...hahahaha! I guess it's not a good idea to go vegan when I run out of meat one day:S Since I'm not diabetic, I basically just have to make sure I'm eating a sufficient level of protein in my diet along with my starch. And, to eat 6-7 small meals a day to keep my low blood sugar at a more normal rate. I can never skip breakfast (which I never do) and I can never ignore my body when it is hungry (which I sometimes do).

Yes.... I'm still doing some research on it, but this is in part why I eat like a wolf sometimes and will continue to do so all the days of my life (which really, I don't mind. It makes life a little more...delicious?).

A political post because I haven't written one in a while

2008-12-04T21:57:00.004-05:00

So some exciting things in Canadian politics for a change: it seems like our Parliament can't cooperate on anything! And so it appears, the Governor General has just agreed to suspend Parliament until PM Harper and the coalition/opposition can have an all-out PR war- just in time for Christmas. In all honesty, I'm slightly fearful for the future of Canada. The instability (and immaturity) is alarming.

Personally, I'm not in favour of this coalition. I felt like it kind of came out of nowhere and without warning to Canadian citizens. And if such a coalition were to govern our country, do we really want Stephane Dion running it? After all, his popularity and support dropped so low that he is due to step down in May. This reduces his legitimacy to govern. Even though a coalition would technically hold 54.4% of the popular vote, who's to say that these three parties are going to be effective governing together? The three of them still have distinctly different party interests and electorates. It seems like we're heading for an even greater deadlock in decision-making than we currently have.

But then again, I'm not a huge Harper fan either. It wasn't such a smart move to continually refer to the Bloc as the 'separatists' who are committed to dividing the country This is a bit of an insult to Quebeckers (which is important, considering he lost his chance for a majority government, largely because he failed to garner the Quebec vote). Although not all Quebeckers are pro-sovereignty, most of them still see the Bloc as a legitimate political party within Canada. I think he's pretty much lost the French vote forever.

Considering the record-low voter turnout we had in the election 6 weeks ago, it seems like Canadians are losing faith in the ability of its party leaders to run the country. And this current crisis doesn't do much to erase that stigma.

I'm not really impressed. But, you can count on me being engrossed into the newspapers for the next couple weeks.

Mini Book Review by Monica

2008-11-19T20:26:00.002-05:00

Who knew that working 8 hours a day staring at a computer screen could be so.... exhausting?! If you didn't know already, it is. I cannot believe that the majority of North Americans sit behind a computer screen all day for at least 8 hours. I mean, at least when I was a student, I would get up after a 3 hour lecture and at least go to another class....arghh

Other than sleeping, cooking, eating and going to work, I've squeezed in some time to rekindle a lost love for good literature. I'm about 3/4ths through The Jade Peony, by Wayson Choy.

I've realized that as of late, my writing on this blog has turned mostly from prose and poetry to...just merely prose. I get my energy and inspiration from reading hordes of literature- which I had pretty much no time for in between writing 45+ papers in university (I calculated).

Anyways, this is a vividly descriptive novel of a Chinese family immigrating to Vancouver in the late 1930's, right when the world was on the brink of the Second World War. The sprinkled phonetic Cantonese makes it a bit more personal and pretty amusing for me at times. A powerful memoir of 3 Chinese children struggling to fit into a country which made them feel less than welcome, while at the same time holding onto their cultural roots. I love the little details of history, politics and Chinese-Canadian culture woven into the conversations and the setting. Definitely a good read so far!

Selected Thought Topics:

2008-10-31T20:38:00.005-04:00

Halloween Irony

I always found it really ironic that Halloween is the only day of the year where people chose to decorate their houses with blood, gore, tombstones and allow their children to dress up as axe murderers, demonic spirits, dead bodies, etc (and of course, there are the pretty princess costumes, cute pumpkin kids, etc., but that's kinda besides the point for this blog post;). And the more scary and disgusting the better, because it will get you more candy.

If someone decided to wear a rubber bloodied mask with a plastic machete stuck on the side of their head on any other day, they would probably be accused of being morbid or just really really weird. And maybe sent in for some therapy. However, there is only one day a year where we can poke fun at the dead and the psychopathic....and that's on Halloween night. That's the only time of year when you can wear fake blood that tastes like cherries and be called 'cool'. Fun for the whole family!

Don't get me wrong- I used to love trick-or-treating when I was a kid. I've also seen some pretty creative costumes over the years as well. I just think it's funny how people so openly embrace the idea of death and gory goodness for just one day a year??

Ottawa Weather

So I love living in Ottawa for a few reasons. For one, it's the only place I know where you can experience 4 seasons in 1 week alone. For instance, we had a freak snowstorm Tuesday night running through Wednesday. 30 cm of snow on the ground with gusty winds up to 50km an hour. I swear we have never had a snowstorm in October before! It was hilarious to see piles of snow on the ground contrasting with the bright orange leaves bunched up on the trees near my house. I felt the blood start to freeze in my fingers....something I definitely don't feel until around January. So that's winter and autumn right there. And on Thursday and Friday, the weather was absolutely gorgeous. Bright sunshine, green grass and melting snow. That's spring.

Ok, so that's 3 seasons. But I could have sworn early last May we definitely had some freak snow as well!

Asian Drama Addiction

Why is it that Asian women slap each other sooo much in these movies? I can always predict when someone is going to get slapped in the face. Everytime there is this build-up of tension between two characters-- ie: extreme sadness or anger due to woman stealing husband or stealing family fortune.... I can predict there's going to be a huuuuugggee slap! Clearly, diplomatic skills are not used very often in these situations. But then again, the women are always so manipulative and evil, I always want to slap them too.

Chinese people in Ottawa do not do this on a regular basis. Maybe they do it in Toronto where there are more Asian people.

2008-10-19T22:13:00.002-04:00

So I'm turning 22 in less than 2 hours. Somehow, it feels really old... It makes me feel like more of an adult than I did on my 21st. Possibly because I graduated and am currently working full-time. And living on my own and paying bills. And getting excited about things like budgeting and following politics on the news and reading profusely on stock market analysis. And the fact that this lady at the drug store gave me a free sample of anti-aging cream (for fighting the first signs of aging) as a complementary gift with my moisturizer. And complaining about how loud teenagers on the bus are.

As long as I'm not wearing tapered leg jeans, I think I still have some youth left :)

Stupid- Free Verse Poem by Monica

2008-10-01T21:28:00.004-04:00

Being stupid is...

Accidentally missing your bus stop because of day dreaming and dinner-planning

And then having to bus back home from Orleans (btw, if you don't know where Orleans is, it's far. Very far. Edge of East Ottawa near Quebec.).

And then getting lost and the very humongous bus station walking across the entire place twice over.

And then getting home about 45 minutes-hour later than planned.

In the dark. Because Daylight Savings time is soon. And then almost missing your next bus stop because you can't see your stop from inside the bus.

And all this is because of extreme tiredness.

Because of a lack of sleep.

Because you chose to watch killer-psycho scary movies (2 of them) late at night, both within the same week or so.

Because you didn't think it would be that scary.

And then you had to see how it ended.

And then consequently, each night you tried to sleep, you think some crazy-psycho is standing in your closet.

How knew that an HK drama (well, they're all insane anyways) and an Al Pacino movie could cause so much trouble?

The really stupid thing is,

You accidentally bused to Orleans twice.

In the last 8 days.

Again because of day-dreaming and dinner-planning.

And you'll probably do it again.

This is the definition of

Stupid.

"We would like to give you an offer of employment if you are still interested..."

2008-09-26T15:47:00.003-04:00

3 weeks after completing my undergrad, I am now officially employed! Got a job offer today with an organization outside the government. I start next Wednesday....no security clearance or anything.... thank goodness! Job search has got to be the most tedious activity ever! I'm so glad and so thankful that it is over.

So, USo3 is slowly but surely disbanding, proving that our success rate is astronomical.

PS: If you're curious where I work, just email me. I'm not going to reveal it here for purposes of privacy:)

Unemployed Society of 3 (USO3)

2008-09-22T22:59:00.005-04:00

The USO3 is currently recruiting new members!

Mission Statement:
We three university graduates seek to dedicate (hopefully) one morning/afternoon a week to job search together. We believe that a supportive environment is beneficial to those who spend too much time alone in front of their laptops job searching in solitude. We believe that such an environment which promotes companionship encourages productivity and brightens one's day. We believe that by finding jobs, we can then disband this society very soon.

Qualifications:
Bachelor's Degree
Unemployed, but you believe you are worthy to be employed
Searching desperately (But still wanting some kind of meaning/significance in your potential career)
Spending anywhere from 2-6 hours in front of laptop daily emailing resumes into cyberspace
Must be able to bring personal laptop
Snacks are an asset

If interested, please contact one of the following members as soon as possible:

1) Monica L., BPAPM'08
(Founder and Co-Recruiter of USO3)

2) Andrea C., Law'07
(Co-Recruiter and Asian Assistant for Cordial Affairs)

3) Marilee C., Law'07
(Housing and muffin provider)

** We are willing to change the number within our name for purposes of recruitment.

Sitting in my blue room

2008-09-13T22:24:00.002-04:00

So I'm sitting in my new room now.... my mother's van can hold more furniture than I thought. My entire bed, 3 drawers, my winter/fall wardrobe, 1 stool 1 chair, 1 night table and a desk were transported here on 3 trips.

Hoping to settle in and find a routine for the rest of the year. Going to keep job-hunting to find my activity of the year and then write a zillion applications for school next September.

More to come- the excitement has just begun! (hopefully)

PS: Happy mid-autumn festival to all the Chinese people out there:):)

DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE

2008-09-04T19:27:00.003-04:00

March 30th- September 4th, 2008:

At least 10 drafts later

2.5 weeks outbreak of hives later

Approximately 10-12 meetings later with my advisor

60 pages later

33 articles, academic journals, news briefs later

246 footnotes later

2.5 weeks in Asia later

I..................

Am.......................

DONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I graduated from Public Affairs on September 4th, 2008 at 3:45 pm.

And it feels soooooooooooooooooooooo good!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2008-08-30T11:02:00.003-04:00

I am home safely. Been back here for about 3 days now after a 4 day delay. Flew via Qantas airline through London on the way back. Slowly resting and getting ready to move. More to follow later.

Asia Whirl Update #4: Stranded in the Beautiful City of Singapore Until Further Notice

2008-08-23T06:48:00.007-04:00

So because of typhoons in Hong Kong, my flight from Singapore to Canada (which requires a transfer in HK) is currently delayed. Like for at least a day. Possibly two.

I'm using my sister's friend's computer in my 5-star hotel (he dropped off his laptop before going out for dinner with Becky)....choosing to spend an evening alone for the first time in a long time. I kind of forgot how much I enjoyed the peaceful simplicity of sitting around in sweatpants and having Downhere and Lifehouse drumming on medium volume through my earphones.

Highlights from Singapore (a bit scant for now, perhaps due to exhaustion from over-vacationed-ness at the moment):

1) Palm trees and coconuts

2) Clean streets and people following rules upon rules of street signs (this results in the most efficient transportation system ever!)

3) Looking for geckos outside my room....since my uncle and his family live in this seminary out in the wild of Singapore, lizards are supposed to run rampant...hahahaha....

4) Large durian dome thing.... forgot what it was called?

5) Listening to Singlish..... sounds kind of Jamaican and Chinese at the same time. But then I was aware of how funny my English must have sounded to them. If you say 'la' after every 2 sentences with a heavy Chinese accent and some kind of Jamaican type rythmn, then that in my opinion is perfect Singapore English! This is what happens when a city is amalgated with dash of Chinese, a side of Malaysian and a touch of Indian.

6) Observing a Malaysian Muslim wedding ceremony-- I thought it was weird that this couple allowed visitors to come in during the ceremony in the mosque... I'm sort of wondering what they thought when this random strange Asian girl took like a zillion pictures of them.

7) All Singaporian dishes in moderation....again, in wild colours and oodles of spices

8) Spending 65 hours a day with my cousin roaming random streets and getting lost occasionally because of badly interpreted directions and/or due to getting sandwiched between Asian people on the Subway or getting caught in the rain with a cheap umbrella BUT always managing to find our way home and having a good time thanks to my maps and his sense of humour.

9) Hysterically laughing for about 2 hours to the point of nausea and exhaustion due to my Singaporian uncle's very very random jokes and attempted use of slang and popular culture.

---

Although sad to leave this city and the people here..... I'm praying that the weather clears up so I can have a safe flight back home....... kinda getting restless and missing Canada where I can once again where jeans and a hoodie and not be worried about sweating buckets.

Asia Whirl Update #3: Delayed Thailand Post

2008-08-21T00:28:00.003-04:00

So I've been in Singapore for about 3 days now.... apologies for the delay in posting. I had limited internet access in Thailand.

Sooooooo highlights and thoughts about Thailand are as follows:

1) Since my sister and I didn't want to stay at a sketchy hostel, we somehow ended up at this 4- star deluxe suite with a beautiful view of the city-- all for a very low price thanks to the exchange rate between Canadian dollars and Thai Bahts.

2) I've never climbed so many temple ruins and probably never will again. My thighs hurt for about 2 days.

3) Rebecca and I (and our trusted male friend who is a native Thai) took a stroll in the red light district one evening. The club owners are very aggressive in recruiting people into their 'shows'. We got approached at least 5 times. Nonetheless, once we told them we weren't interested in viewing their entertainment, they left us alone.

4) Despite Thailand's reputation for it's seedy red light district and sex trade industry, Thai people are extremely gentle and very friendly. It is indeed the "Land of Smiles" for which it is aptly named.

5) Real Thai food is quite marvelous. A million colours of food in every flavour possible-- a treat for the stomach and for the eyes.

6) Shanty towns were both a little tragic but also oddly charming at the same time.

7) Taxi cabs are crazy colourful.

8) The Thai language is very....long? Each word seems to take up 65 metres on a street sign. My sister and I were a little illiterate and mute for a few days.

Asia Whirl Update #2 (Hong Kong: The Good, Bad and Ugly)

2008-08-14T08:20:00.003-04:00

The Good:

1) So apparently, my Chinese can't be all that bad. My vocabulary is coming back to me a lot easier than I thought it would. I spoke previously about how easy it is to get lazy with your mother tongue while living your whole life in North America, and I was pretty sure my spoken Chinese kinda deteriorated over the years.

Once in a while it's a little embarrassing to stop in mid-sentence because you forgot a simple word or phrase, but people are pretty forgiving here so it's not too awful. I keep reminding myself that many parts of HK are pretty international, and so English speakers can still get by alright. So far, I've been able to communicate with store vendors, bus drivers, relatives, waiters and taxi drivers pretty comprehensibly in Chinese with the occasional slip-up of vocabulary or accidental touch of Canadian accent...hahahaa...a lot less scary than I thought. Still have to get used to that HK accent though-- much more to learn for sure, but thankfully not impossible.

2) I went to visit my Grandmother's sister and her husband today for the first time since I was 3 years old. It was a really meaningful visit for my sister and myself, especially since their health has been a little poor in recent years. I was surprised to see incense and apples in front of a family shrine along with mini buddha statues littered on top of table cabinets. My Grandmother is the exact opposite with Bible verses and crosses pinned up on the walls of her old apartment. Her Chinese Bible always sat on her kitchen table and she used to sing me Chinese Christian hymns when I was little.

Nonetheless, it was great to look at old photos including my Grandmother's wedding pictures from the 1940s and baby pictures of my mother. The pictures were so well kept. They were like hidden gems in the old, musty crammed apartment. It was so good to spend time with them.

3) I'm really not much of a shopper at all, but this city is like a cheapskate's Heaven. At least for the Westerner like myself. My aunt took me and my sister to this really weird hidden back alley clothing outlet where we could find room after room filled with boxes jam-packed with dirt-cheap (real) designer clothes. It was quite a day for sure!

The Bad and the Ugly:
Maybe it's the Westerner in me, but I saw some pretty disgusting examples of parental discipline today.

Incident #1: Grandmother/nanny yells at her child for about 5 minutes in the middle of a shopping centre and proceeds to hit her, pinch her, slap her and call her derogatory names. The little girl apparently lost her wallet with an ample amount of money that she was given (probably around $20 Canadian?). I was in the store right across from them, and it was so disturbing I wanted to leave right away.

Incident #2: (We were in the Kowloon city district (I think) in more of the local area. My uncle wanted to take me to this diner to get a taste of some real local food. The place is owned by a family who I believe live, eat and work at the location.)

One of the women who works at the diner starts yelling her her son for not finishing his meal. Without s0 much as a thought, she grabs a pair of chopsticks and hits him. Imagine this incident amongst the screaming, crying and again, yelling of derogatory terms to her child. The young mother was probably around my age. This other lady scolded the the small child for crying and told him he had better stop crying because he was a boy and boys don't cry.

If anything like that happened in Canada, someone would call Child Protection Services on them for sure.

While I'm definitely in favour of discipline and respect, I don't think that could ever come from beating, humiliating and screaming at your children. Who want to finish their supper after having been beaten with their utensils anyways? There's no cultural relativism excuse here, it's just plain wrong.

It really got me thinking, it's really by God's grace that kids can still turn out ok anyways. All parents can make such awful mistakes about raising their kids. I'm trying to make a note of never ever calling my future children stupid or useless... there are other more fruitful and healthy ways of getting a point across.

-----------
All in all, I'm going to kind of miss Hong Kong. I'm particularly attached to the endless rows of tall buildings and the crazy hustle and bustle of the zillion Asian people.

Next stop: Bangkok, Thailand

Asia Whirl Update #1

2008-08-11T22:14:00.003-04:00

This is going to be a quick one with bullet points and subheadings:

Currently, I'm in Hong Kong sitting in my uncle's room in front of an old Dell computer. There's been a lot to process here...and not enough time to write. Soooo, here are a couple highlights/thoughts so far:

Airplane ride:
- Why do airplane stewardesses wear so much makeup?
- My favorite souvenir from Cathay Pacific were by fuzzy, bedtime socks
- I watched an episode of Ugly Betty, 1 episode of Pushing Daises, some random Canto pop....it was a lovely 15 hour trip despite trying to sleep upright

Hong Kong
- As some of you know....it's my first time here! (better late than never) I think I miss my Canadian air quality....hahahaha
- I realize I'm no longer petite by HK standards. Not only am I no longer short, I'm probably no longer a size small. That's ok though, it's going to be fun to be ummm a little larger for a change.
- People don't follow crosswalks here. They walk in the middle of the road amidst ongoing traffic
- What really caught my eye were the seemingly billions of apartment buildings. Rows and rows of tiny windows dotted the buildings for miles!
- I saw an elderly woman panhandling on the street yesterday, somwhere in Causeway Bay. It was raining and she was soaking wet. Passers-by seemed to walk past her completing unnoticed by such a sight.
- My aunt's washing machine is next to her refrigerator.... I thought that was really cool.

Favorite quotes from my little cousins (aged 5 and 6 and 3/4ths):
Joanna: "You have a Canadian smell! The bathroom smells like you!"
Me: "What do I smell like?"
Stephanie (leans over and smells me): "You smell yummy!"

Stephanie: "My panda has to go poo-poo!" (in regards to her stuffed panda)

Stephanie: "I want to be sexy like Beyonce!" (I of course told her this was very bad and she should never say such things again....hahahahaha...yeah)

We'll be doing some random stuff today. Victoria's Peak and some other stuff. Should be fun. More to come.

West to East (on a smaller scale)

2008-07-28T23:00:00.004-04:00

Re: Hives: I've just gone 8 hours without scratching. I think I'm cured!

I'm only 99% certain of this (which is actually a large percentage), but I'm most likely moving out to Orleans in September. I went to see the house today.... it's super clean, smells fine, located in a semi-safe neighbourhood near a bus route and other necessary and accessible facilities (ie: food and other amenities).... seems like a good choice to me. All I have to do is email one of the girls living there to confirm everything. Pretty excited about this...keep fingers crossed that everything works out!

Thesis progress update# Gazillion: My personal grammar and structure Nazi is helping edit like mad. So things are good:)

Ode to Torture- Poem by Monica

2008-07-19T12:52:00.005-04:00

A Freeverse Poem Dedicated to my Recent Outbreak of Hives

Torture is.....

Waking up Sunday morning and wondering why you have bug bites on your arms and legs

Then later finding out that they aren't bug bites, they're hives

Slowly, they spread to all regions of my body...slowly, over the course of 5 days

Swelling, itching, I am inflamed with blobs of reddish blotchiness

On a quest to find out, I endure 6 hour wait in the hospital, 2 doctor visits

2 types of medication, 1 blood test, nothing seems to bring relief

They seem to be of little use, as the hives continue to plague my body...swimming from my scalp all the way down to my toes

Desperately, I try to track down what I ate or encountered in the last week

Could it be a benzoate compound in the 2 bottles of vitamin B energy drink I tried last week?

Perhaps a bug bite or poison ivy from gardening?

However, this is reminiscent of an incident when I was 13 where I endured hives randomly for about 2 weeks before seeing any progress, and then 6-8 weeks later, they finally cleared up for good. This collided with my family vacation to Washington DC where I subsequently was rushed to the hospital and experienced the quick, efficient service of a private healthcare system (starting to be a fan)

8 years ago, I had an allergy test with no results

I hope to have another one soon....maybe with better luck

In the meantime, please pray that this at least begins to clear up before I leave to country

At least I take comfort in the fact that I am about 6 pages left from completing the thesis

**To be continued

Je peux parler en chinois aussi (titre alternatif: the life and struggles of a semi-trilingual girl)

2008-07-13T22:38:00.006-04:00

Banana Girl fighting her White-Washed Tendencies

If someone were to write the story of my life, it would be written predominantly in English with random spurts and streams of Cantonese and perhaps a hint of French just for some added flavour. It would be an inaccurate account otherwise.

I think there's an under-appreciation of the unique culture we 2nd generation born Asians experience while living here in North America. While born and raised in a Western country, we inherit a second-hand version of our parents' language, cultural values and norms. This consequently gets meshed into a web of Western values and traditions and ways of thinking.

The result? Instant bananas! (ie: yellow on outside/white on inside...popular colloquial term my Asian-Canadian friends and I use) However, the degree of banana-likeness one acquires highly depends on how much the individual rejects his/her, culture- or how keen they are on maintaining and preserving their inherited Asian lifestyle. Nonetheless, I think all 2nd-gen Asians like myself can safely say that we are neither totally Western nor are we totally Asian. It becomes this really cool (and sometime frustrating and other times hilarious) inter-mingling of both. Something Wongfu Productions has done a pretty good job of capturing.

Personally speaking, I think I could classify myself as a typical CBC (ie: Canadian-born Chinese....another popular colloquial term amongst us Asian-Canadians): I understand more Chinese than I bother to speak, and I've probably gotten a little lazy over the years and have chosen to speak English whenever it seems convenient. Fortunately however, thanks to sappy (and addictive) Chinese dramas and my habitual code-switching of Chinese and English with my family, I've still maintained a working knowledge of spoken Cantonese which can definitely be improved in the future if such a need is required.

However, since I'm leaving for Hong Kong in less than a month, I've been more adamant about improving my Cantonese. I've been studying the Chinese menus closely each time my family goes out to eat...trying to read every Chinese character and phrase that I can. I've actually been writing out different Chinese characters as well, just for my own knowledge (even though I've been told my writing is pretty hideous...). I've been paying closer attention to Chinese conversations between Asian family members and friends to pick up new vocabulary, expressions and hidden innuendos...much to the delight of my parents.

Most days, I love being both Chinese and Canadian. Growing up in North America has made me critical and appreciative about the different aspects of both cultures. There are definitely days when I can't stand being Asian and there are days when I wish I wasn't a minority. But really, it's an adventure every day so how could I complain:)

Quick Update

2008-07-10T13:54:00.002-04:00

This is going to be a quick one:

- I've taken up yoga...my uncle and I practiced various stress-relieving stretches in the piano room. I wish we realized the window was wide open...

- I love my extended family. Those massive family reunions with loads of Asian people does wonders for the soul.

- I've got approximately 21 pages left to go for the thesis.

- I've been super sick in the last couple weeks, but surprised at how supportive (and patient) everyone has been.

- I'm leaving for Hong Kong on August 10th. And then to Thailand. And then to Singapore.

Crazy Kids

2008-06-24T15:51:00.003-04:00

It's slightly old news now, but if you haven't read about this outrageous court case, you can read about it here.

I think kids deserve some of the awful trouble they get into these days. I haven't been able to find more details about this particular case (ie: on what basis could the judge make this ruling), but regardless, the fact that a 12 year girl can get out of being grounded by bringing her father to court and actually winning the case... that's just absurd.

Some questions I had: 1) How could this 12 year old afford a lawyer? 2) How did she even know about these legal procedures/that she had an option to sue? 3) Did the judge think about how this judgment would impact the family (ie: creating a deep irreconcilable rift between the parents/child, the precedent it would set for future cases, etc.)

Without a doubt, parents are not strict enough. I don't understand why parents take such a stand-offish attitude toward raising their kids- it's like they are afraid of disciplining them....because their kids will 'hate them'. The child in this case clearly had no respect for her father's authority. And barring her from going to a school trip doesn't prevent her from finding other Internet dating sites to post her photos (don't these sites have an age minimum membership??). Punishments have to make sense in relation to the act committed. Why didn't the dad get an Internet filter, set up a new password for the Internet, set time limits for Internet usage, talk to his daughter about the dangers of her actions, focus on improving overall communication with his daughter about her life, etc. It's amazing how little parents know about their children.

However, I'm wondering if this case runs a bit deeper-- whether there was an abusive history in the past between the parents and the child.

But nonetheless, just based on everything in this article itself, and there is no excuse for this ruling.

2 weeks left....

2008-06-09T22:20:00.002-04:00

- 4 papers
- 2nd chapter of thesis
- 1 exam
- Family reunion (with all the cousins and all the trimmings....)
- STINTers/projectiles come back to Canada:)

It's going to be intense.

Procrastinating in the MacOdrum

2008-05-28T16:33:00.005-04:00

I'm liking this new blog format. The other one was a bit too blank for me-- it took forever to find a display banner that fit around the title of my blog! Such a time waster.

Random unimportant news:

Thesis progress: Should be done page 15 of approx. 50 by the end of this week. And it's semi-quality work, so you almost say I'm about a third done. However, I sometimes wish I chose a "feeling-less" topic like environmental policy or something-- gender-based violence in international armed conflicts is quite a heavy subject, not to mention depressing at times. Reading on some of these atrocities has actually interfered with my sleep at times. Not exactly the time of light reading that's recommended before going to bed.

I went for a jog this morning, and my chest still hurts from breathing too hard. This means I'm out of shape. This will hopefully change in the coming months.

I can't wait to experiment with home decor when I move out. My parents are opposed to wall paper and colours not of a white shade, so our newly painted walls are a plain creme with white sideboards-- though it still reminds me scrambled eggs, which is also quite pleasant.

More interesting news to follow later. Greecian politics is calling me.

Monica's Flick Review

2008-05-16T23:46:00.002-04:00

I've been asked many times, "so what do you do for fun?" I actually never know how to answer this question, for a number of reasons: what constitutes fun? Like, super-exciting-spontaneous fun like," I enjoy sky-diving every Saturday morning"? Or some kind of activity I do in my spare time? Does it have to be fun? Because I do random things like clean the bathroom or rearrange the junk in my bedroom. Or going outside for a walk around my suburban neighbourhood and checking out people's gardens. I consider that mildly stimulating. Seeing clean objects makes me excited. Bright colours blow my mind. But does that make me really boring?

Anyways, I've come to understand 'fun' to constitute anything that mildly amuses me. So, I've recently discovered an answer to this question....sort of.

For fun, I like to watch random chick flicks (preferably from the 80s) and I also like to eat ice cream. I've never been much of a movie person, but this year, it seems like I've watched more than I have in the past. Most are rented movies. Something light, not too deep....etc.

Some Movies I've watched in the past year include:

Juno (2008): This one was pretty good.... teen pregnancy story that was neither promiscuous nor overtly sappy. The right amount of humour and acting was very good. Very believable.

Charlie Wilson's War (2007): This one was interesting for me because I got to look at American foreign policy on the big screen...hahaha... but all the women were like not really dressed so that kind of bothered me. And why there were climbing all over Charlie Wilson was a mystery to me-- other than the fact that he was a powerful politician. Ignoring the bad 80's glasses and fluffy hair, it was an average movie.

Nanny Diaries (2007): This is such an under-rated movie with Scarlett Johansson... it was fun, creative and sort-of a modern-day Mary Poppins with the flying umbrellas! I highlights the importance of understanding the nitty gritty family problems behind the seemingly perfect, wealthy families. And, Scarlett's character was this university graduate who has no idea what to do with her life, and then takes a year off with a rather random position as a nanny. Very relatable. Though I don't think I'll take a year off to nanny...

Tootsie (1982): Absolutely hilarious. Dustin Hoffman plays a woman. He does such a good job. He makes the cutest, charming Southern belle. This movie actually got 10 Oscar nominations. It actually highlights some of the real struggles women had in the workplace, relationships, etc.... really cool to watch movies and analyze the reflection of the then changing times.

Bridget Jones' Diary (2001): Actually not my favorite. Some really, clever funny moments. Especially that fight scene between Darcy and the "Wickham" character (don't remember his movie name?) But really, it was obvious which guy was the jerk from the beginning... Hugh Grant's character was way too annoying.

Fried Green Tomatoes (1991): Also a movie which subtly highlights women's empowerment... ie: domestic abuse, independence, etc. all packaged up in a movie that has little to do with its title. Very well-played.

So, for some good times-- go make an ice cream sundae with blueberries and chocolate chips and grab some classic film. It's now a new hobby for me.

This entry is slightly more personal (and long): Follow the subtitles

2008-05-06T19:08:00.008-04:00

Restless:

So, here I am... sitting by my computer at the beginning of May... feeling slightly useless. Well, ok- maybe not useless. Restless? Most of my friends are out in unknown parts of Asia and Africa trying to save the world, and I'm chained to my desk writing my thesis, waiting for summer school (thank goodness it's the last political science course ever), and forcing myself to study LSATs at least 4 hours a day (because God knows, this June test will be the last time I'll write this stupid North American standardized, arbitrary, non-law related examination).

So I'm a little lonely, quite tired, and kind of poor because I have decided not to work this summer for a few reasons:
a) Time constraints: as experienced in the past, working/doing school full time while studying for LSATs is not a good idea. A brain marathon works best in the morning, not after a full day in the office or at school/a combination of both is even worse.

b) I have secret plans for next year (I reverted Plan X) which might begin in August, if everything goes accordingly. So I should keep myself flexible because it might require a lot of preparation time. If things don't work out, then I'll be boring and work for the public service as my degree will so kindly allow me to do.

c) I'm still pretty exhausted from 4 years of intense stress and writing like 15 papers a year, so I figured I should leave myself some breathing room for the next few months as I finish off the rest of my school stuff. Too bad I hate being un-busy though...hahaa

Law/Lawyers/Courthouse:

I just spent the last 7 months volunteering at the provincial courthouse, and it's given me a ton of great insight-- even on the slow and boring days where I sit in the courtrooms and nothing happens.

Things I've noticed: it's always the same people getting into trouble: people on welfare, people with drug addictions, people with mental health problems... it's such a contrast to see the lawyers in their power-suits standing next to their scruffy looking clients. The sentences are always the same-- 'keep the peace and be of good behaviour'. In all honesty, I'm wondering how effective these sentences are? I'm not allowed to release information I hear in the court for obvious reasons, but I can say that these sentences are a joke for some of the accused individuals. And they continue to break their sentences and end up in court again and again...because they failed to show up for court as required, because they didn't report to their probation officer. It's like this endless cycle of repetitive behaviour... the court system doesn't seem to help much, in all honesty. I'm wondering if the lawyers even care sometimes? They are making a fortune off of this ongoing criminal behaviour. Ideally, keeping these individuals stay out of trouble would begin with early prevention efforts: after-school programs, etc. which keep kids occupied with constructive activities, developing healthy relationships, maybe family counseling if needed? Most of the accused clients in court have an extremely troubled, tumultuous past.

Anyways, I felt like I had soaked up everything I needed to know about court. So, I decided to try my hand at volunteering at a women's group home (with the same branch organization which facilitates the court program). I found volunteering at the courthouse didn't give me as much direct contact with the incarcerated persons as I would have liked, and so I'm hoping that I can learn a bit more, offer some help/hospitality to the women directly affected by the law. We'll see how it goes.

The Lives I Forfeited (probably a bit more dramatic than necessary, hahaha):

So I realize I'm getting older waaay too fast! I've lost count of my friends (and friends of friends) who have recently gotten engaged and married in the past year. Everyone's graduating, pursuing professional school/higher study, working, etc. And here I am, sitting in my room blogging... thinking about year ago of how sure I was of the direction I wanted to take, and now being a little more confused than I've ever been.

I realize the choices I make now will really determine the direction my life will take, the places I will travel to, the people I will meet, the perspectives that I will acquire. I often wonder if I'm really going down the right path. Talk about needing to pray for discernment. With my talents and passions, I've had some time reflect on some of the career options I once thought I'd pursue (like back in high school and now):

Cartoonist
Children's author/novelist...most likely for kids
Teacher (for kids of all ages)/Professor (for stressed undergrad students)
Journalist/freelance writer
Missionary/something God-related involving me studying theology/divinity... (In all seriousness, I wrote this down during a career's class back in high school. Up until 2nd year, I was still considering somehow combining my studies with an area involving a ministry)
Criminologist
Public servant (what my degree in BPAPM has made me out to become...)
Anthropologist (I loved history, culture, maybe I could have lived with apes like Jane Goodall??)
Something to do with languages...
Something to do with women...

It's a shame we can only choose one path. I guess my ideal goal in life would be to hit all these areas? Thinking though career options is quite a headache-y task, and sometimes I'm a bit uncertain whether my choice to pursue law is my dream or my parents'. Or whether it is something I'm sincerely interested in doing, and also my way of proving to myself that I can overcome any intellectual hurdle thrown my way.

Regardless, this restless summer will hopefully give me more time to sort out these thoughts.

Weird Family Life

2008-04-21T17:18:00.003-04:00

Yesterday, my brother inscribed "I love Stalin" at least 3 times on my door on the various papers/sticky-notes I have posted there. If I ever tape a 'do not disturb' sign on my door, I can be certain that within 24 hours, my brother will vandalize it with something weird.

My brother saved a 'notepad' entitled "POO" inside each of my file folders on my usb. Inside each of these documents, the phrase "I am the poo king all for poo glory" was copy/pasted to fill the entire page. This is what happens when I leave my laptop unmonitored.

My brother also has a habit of finding the strangest desktop images to surprise me with. He has finds close-up pictures of dictators, despot leaders, politicians and plasters my desktop with them. My favorite one to date would have to be the really up-close Arab protesters with this one guy's tonsils in sight across my computer. It was quite mind-boggling.

And yes... we are both in university.

This is why I get distracted at home.

My Fountain of Youth: And How it is Diminishing

2008-04-15T19:19:00.003-04:00

I've learned this year that... if I put forth full effort, strategize wisely and persist without ceasing, I can usually reach my goal.

However, sometimes it's not a very healthy thing. As such, I'm taking this summer to rejuvenate myself. Literally. I looked in the mirror the other day, and I swear there are huge grey and reddish bags under my eyes that are not fading.... I know it sounds vain, but I'm kinda concerned:S I do not want to start using anti-aging cream. So I'm trying to use all the methods I effectively know off-hand, and also with the googled research I've done in order to restore my youth. I refuse to live off my under-eye concealer cream, which is what I've been doing! Once I take it off, I realize how tired my eyes are.

Sooo now, I'm determined to restore my natural youth (because uhhh I think I still have time) meaning minimal stress, lots of exercise, drink lots of water, eat well....mostly emphasis on minimal stress and limited time in front of my Toshi.

I'll be looking (hopefully) younger and less 'living-dead'-like by August.

Iron Maiden

2008-03-28T12:18:00.002-04:00

I don't get to take a lot of electives, but I decided to take this random music class this year just for fun. I wish I knew what I was getting myself into. I never knew music students could have sooo much fun! As this is a popular music/culture/theory class, I've now known more trivia than I ever would have known on groups/singers throughout the 20th-21st c.

I had to write a paper on 'concert ritual theory' on a popular band of our choice....and I chose to write on Iron Maiden. Because it was easier to see evidence of culture/ritual stuff within heavy metal big-hair bands. My brother downloaded this random dvd for me and I watched 2 hours of guitar-screaming, skull-throwing (they had these plastic skull things they threw into the audience), big hair reminiscent of the 80s type music...... I turned up the volume to get the full effect. It was quite the experience.

Half-ashamedly, I have to say I slightly enjoyed it this big-hair-metal-screaming experience.

Monica's mini life update

2008-03-20T16:28:00.004-04:00

Posts are slow lately--- I know....

Mini update nonetheless:

1) So ever since I extended graduation, I've had more time to myself. However, I've still been constantly tired. At around 10 pm at night, I'm pretty much ready to collapse. I think I was driving myself harder than I thought, previous to my dropping courses. So my having time to sleep when needed is probably a good thing. 3 more papers, 2 weeks... and no more until May:)

2) In my spare time, I've also discovered some Mark Driscoll sermons. I'm not really a huge fan of American pastors... or really any of the mega- churches in America. The churches sometimes run like businesses where souvenirs, books, dvds are sold-- all with their church name stamped on the front. And the sermons often sound either overly emotional, overly thick Southern accented.... the points all rhyme... etc... and they seem pre-packaged-- like the pastor has already delivered the same talk half a dozen times.

That being said-- I'd have to give Driscoll some credit, cause I think he had some pretty good stuff on his "Religion Saves and Nine other Misconceptions" series. Predestination, Emerging church, and Faith and works were good sermons. I watched some of these in the library during breaks here:)

3) I think.... I'm very emotionally independent. Something I've been contemplating lately. Up until now, I could go long periods without having to set up dates with friends or going to every social event, or calling all my out-of-town friends-- and still feel socially adequate and non-deprived. I have a set of priorities set out to do including schoolwork, family, volunteering/work, etc. Bumping into friends during school or going to c4c meetings or DGs count as social contact. Often times, that's enough for me. But for others, I might seem a little obsessive-compulsive with my own busyness and ambitions. I love people, but I also value time to myself.

I think in recent months that has been changing. With more time on my hands, I've been choosing to invest more of my time and emotional energy in more of my relationships with friends. Especially upon leaving the school after the summer, there are a ton of people that I am going to miss. I think it's been time well-spent. All the time focused on myself is honestly kind of selfish.

Church: Dwindling North American Attendance-- My Interpretation

2008-03-04T22:25:00.000-05:00

Typical Christian Kid
I've always wondered what it would have been like if I had not been born in a Christian family. So much of my faith encompasses my life-- it's hard to imagine. Getting up early Sunday mornings to go to church, forcing a smile at all the aunties while they tell my mom how they a) thought I was getting fat or b) wished their kids were as well-behaved as I was. Then of course I would sit through singspiration with my siblings and my friends (where we sing really cheesy kid songs about Jesus and with corny hand actions). We'd be carted off to Sunday school where some brave teenager or an uncle/auntie would attempt to teach us some kind of lesson from the Bible while the boys shouted obnoxious comments and the girls sat bored and/or mildly interested. And they would usually take these lessons from some 80's lesson book where the jokes were kind of stale and everyone had bad hair. This would go on for about an hour, and then we'd race downstairs and peek into the sanctuary to see if our parents were ready to leave.

Oh and who can forget the Saturday night youth group meetings. Parents wanted to keep us out of trouble so they also encouraged us to go to 'fellowship'. I'll be honest-- I dreaded fellowship. Kids either loved it or hated it. There was no in-between. Everything depended on how you fit into the crowd. Game nights, movie nights, Bible study nights, praise/worship nights, special youth speakers--- this was the whole package every North American Christian kid received. And when we got to the high school/university years, this was a place to hook up with some guy/girl. Some kids were loud and popular; others spoke quietly in the corner with a few friends and slipped in and out of the building unnoticed.

At some point during your time at church, you'd pray the Sinner's Prayer and ask Jesus to come into your heart. And if you were really 'serious' about it, you'd even get baptized. Then you were really part of the community, and of course your parents would be most pleased.

Every kid who grew up in a Christian family and atmosphere like the typical one I experienced has an opinion about church and faith-- you can't be indifferent. My grade 12 Sunday school teacher would have been happy to know that I still remember him telling us that university would be a time where our faith would truly be tested. We would be in an environment where we were genuinely growing up, and our parents wouldn't be around to drag us to church. Consequently, would we still follow Jesus on our own? It would be during these years that we would find out how much our faith really meant to us. Truer words were never spoken.

Out of all the kids I grew up with, only a small handful still go to that church. Many have left. I personally started attending a different church with my family when I was 14. Some don't even talk to their parents anymore. It is devastating to see where so many of them have ended up. But even more devastating is how we just ignore these issues.

Why the Youth Hate Church
Young people become jaded in their faith for the following reasons: 1) gossip, 2) lack of social connections (ie: the kid with no friends for 18 years of his/her church attendance), 3) hypocrisy (ie: parents go to church but scream and call each other names at home), 4) bad leadership: pastoral staff doesn't really acknowledge these problems, conflicts are never addressed/needs of the congregation are not met.

I wonder how the Body of Christ can become so incredibly broken.

Hate to end on such a pessimistic note... this is something that I've been continually pondering and haven't finished pondering.

Thoughts??

The Unthinkable (for me, anyways)

2008-02-16T23:24:00.004-05:00

So I did something I never thought I would do.

1) I delayed graduation.... possibly till December, but at least till the end of the summer.

2) I dropped 1 course I thought I would love.... but turned out to be torture.

3) I delayed my honours research paper until at least the summer.

Why? Reasons are as numerated below:

1) There is no cost for sanity. And because my perfectionist tendencies are not going to change anytime soon, the only way to maximize sanity and grades was to spread things out a bit.

2) So my administrator told me something simple yet profound: my last year isn't supposed to be torture. And I shouldn't walk out of here jaded....hahahaa..... so this sounds probably like a bigger deal than it is, but point is--- if you can change your situation you should. And due to a number of circumstances, I decided that I should probably give myself some breathing room. Why walk out of 4 years of school with less than stellar grades, a grudge against bad profs and bad health? Seriously.

Funnily enough, I'm much more at peace with this decision than I thought. Although when I first came to the realization that I might have to delay graduation, I was absolutely crushed. I'll be honest. I don't like to change my plans. But thus far, plans A through Z have all kind of failed....and maybe that's ok. I have a ton of other things I would love to be doing anyways. We'll play it by ear from now on. No more 1- year plans, and definitely no 5-year plans.

Update: In short sentences

2008-02-14T00:22:00.003-05:00

Brief Update:

My router is dead. Sort of. That is why my computer checking is slower than normal. Hence why blogging mandate is down. I'm using the computer downstairs, which is often occupied by other members of the family.

Nursing homes are the most depressing place ever. Sometimes, I wonder if it's really a mixed blessing to live to an old age (More on this later).

1.5 months left-- 8 more research papers. I'll manage.

Something a friend said to me last week: Life is meant to be joyful. So simple, so profound. How can we forget about joy? Life would...kind of suck without it. Too often I forget to find joy in all circumstances. This is something I will now continually strive to do.

The Political Doctrine of Canadian Students

2008-01-25T22:16:00.000-05:00

More detailed posts to follow in about a week.

This month just seemed to flash by. I really should stop procrastinating and apply for graduation. A couple short thoughts and I'm off to an early sleep.

Rant on School and Politics
This semester, I'm taking a bunch of non-Public Affairs courses, and more and more I realize (not that I got out of the PAPM bubble) how much all university students from a specific program not only share the same opinions but they seriously look alike. Honestly. Ok for starters, my law class is full of hippies. In our last class discussion, we came to the conclusion that as the West does not have the right to impose human rights on others, that human rights could rarely be defined, and somewhere along the line it became a socio-cultural criticism class with a touch of Marxism. It could have been a sociology class or a philosophy class on religion and cultural ethics. I feel like the fascist in the class.

All the kids in my development class are idealistic and want to change the world with... our theories.... (ok this is an exaggeration, but it does amuse me). Everyone talks about their travels to Africa, and they all have this sort of mystical ("I've been changed by my travels") look in their eyes.

My political theory class also talks about how evil the West is, and how we don't have the right to impose anything on anyone. We love to criticize without solutions. The majority of political science students (and many Public Affairs students) are quite obnoxious. And everyone agrees with everyone. And peace, democracy and human rights are apparently not necessarily desirable traits for a country. I would argue that these values are highly desirable, but they are slow to implement (can take decades) and need to be catered to each country's unique internal situation. Financial resources and local support may be depleted which presents an additional challenge, but it doesn't mean these goals should be abandoned.

But we'll leave that for another paper.

I promise the next entry will be less political and perhaps a bit more lively;)

What is Porn Nation??

2008-01-19T23:06:00.000-05:00

So you may have seen our glossy orange and black posters on campus. As soon as I heard Campus for Christ was doing this event, I admit I was a bit concerned for the following reasons:

a) Students would get confused-- so is the Christian club giving away porn? Offering porn? Hiring porn stars? (by the way... the answer to all these is no:S)

b) The people who hate stats would think all of our statistics were wrong. We're just full of propaganda. Why do we even bother? (By the way, Porn Nation is an event sponsored by Braveheart ministries-- we get all of our resources from them including posters and stats info.)

c) Students would get angry because an event entitled "Porn Nation" could only mean we exist to tell people sex is wrong and bad and everyone should become just like us. We should just keep quiet and lock ourselves in a room far, far away from Carleton. Like in the Nesbitt Biology building where nobody goes.

So we've been campaigning for about a week now, and all of the above have come true. So I write this note to tell everyone just WHAT IN THE WORLD IS PORN NATION... and what in the world does Campus for Christ have to do with it??Porn Nation is an event that has been held on campuses across North America. More recently, it has been held at Guelph, MacMaster, Waterloo and next week at Carleton and U of Western. Michael Leahy of Braveheart ministries started this series of talks after his personal experience with pornography addiction at a young age. At the event, he offers a multi-media presentation on interviews with former porn stars, people involved in sex-trafficking. Information that is often ignored or not so widely known. He also gives an honest testimony on how his addiction became harmful and obsessive-- and how it affected his life. Somehow along the way, this struggle became a spiritual journey. This is really interesting and unique-- but I'm not going to give it away. This man has been featured on 20/20, Fox News, and other major news networks for his work with students.

Porn Nation is an event meant to inform not to condemn. Furthermore, it is not a talk on morality (what is right-- why you're wrong) or censorship. It is a talk to discuss the following: how affected are we not only by pornography, but by a hyper-sexualized culture? By this, I mean by things all around us like media, our treatment/portrayal of men and women, etc. Nothing new. But does it affect us more than we think?

Porn Nation isn't exactly "Sex with Sue", but it is meant to discuss pornography and sexuality in a way that maybe a lot of people haven't thought about. I guess this would include issues like sexual assault and rape-- hence the posters. By the way, the sole purpose of the posters are meant to get people thinking/asking questions. But I'll let you make your own decision.

Wed. Jan. 23rd
Fenn Lounge
2 showings: 4:00-5:30 & 7:30-9.
$2: buy your tickets at the door.
More info in Atrium/Res Commons
www.pncanada.com for more info.

Be there.

Winter Conference 2007: Uprising-- Lessons Learned

2008-01-02T00:10:00.000-05:00

If I were seriously to write an entry on everything that happened within the last 5 days, I would probably write a mini book. So instead, here are some short bullets on lessons learned/favorite moments what I would share with someone who asked me, "how was your last Winter Conference ever?"

Nocturnal living is possible. Though probably not sustainable. Got up every morning at for 8:15 am optional prayer. Went to bed every night at around 2 am. I just decided sleeping wasn't worth it..didn't want to miss a moment of my last WC. And Meredith Harrison tends to be a very sound sleeper who turns to her right side very often. Having only 60 cm of space of which to sleep, it just made sense not to do it at all.
Partnering with the Salvation Army for our outreach was quite the experience. Dragging belated Christmas bags door to door was tiring but it was great to meet all the occupants in the housing units. What incredible stories.
I think I spent quality time with most everyone I needed to see. I didn't realize how much I missed spending time with my long lost friends.
Impromptu worship at 1:30 am was definitely random and fun. I thought the hotel had excellent coffee as well. Kept my bloodshot eyes peeled on the speakers for the day.
Duct tape + exacto knife+ cardboard+ Tristan = best new year's costume ever--> I effectively wore a box coated in duct tape twice my width and a quarter my height. I didn't have a celebrity in mind for our Hollywood themed party. Coming as a inanimate object was a lovely idea.

Lessons learned:

This can be summed up into the following:

The greatest sin would be to live practically, comfortably and sensibly. To live to further my own education, my own prestige, and to possibly miss the greatest calling on my life. This week, I've been challenged to step back and lay my lengthy and practical plans aside and take a plunge towards the pursuit of God in my life. The normal Christian life was not meant to be some kind of comfortable, cushy 'feel-good' sentiment where followers of Christ gather each Sunday to socialize and do charity. (Forgive my bad grammar, I'm still suffering from the side effects of no sleep for 5 days.) We are called to live boldly, passionately and sacrificially to further His Kingdom, to see lives changed. This may mean setting aside financial security, North American norms of self-serving comfort and status, and parental approval for the sake of the Gospel.

It has been an amazing and humbling week. I'm ready for 2008.

Hope for our pre-teens....sort of

2007-12-16T16:37:00.000-05:00

When I was nine, I watched my first PG-13 movie. Some of you may remember Clueless. I watched it in the basement during my friend's slumber party. After my friends finished giggling over how cute Jonathan Taylor Thomas was, and gawking over which celebrities they were destined to marry, they decided to top off the evening by further developing their pre-teen girl fantasy by soaking up the fashion, flirtation, and glamour laced with pink feather boas of Cher and Beverly Hills.

At this point in the evening, I felt my IQ lower about 10 points. I wanted to go home and read my baby-sitters club books. However, majority ruled and I wanted to be a good sport. So we decided to watch Clueless during the party. 3 times. Despite the fact that none of the characters possessed so much as half a brain in the movie, there was something fascinating about the Hollywood- produced high school world of boyfriends, matchmaking, popularity and stylish clothing that delighted the little souls of nine-year olds. How else do you explain the books, dolls, and TV series that followed the movie? I suppose the new Gossip Girls book/TV series today is what Clueless was to us growing up in the 90's. Perhaps we can conclude that the majority of pre-teen girls aspire to be a teenage ditz with an awesome wardrobe and a hot boyfriend when she grows up. That is....quite sad.

However, all hope is not is not lost for the pre-teens of today. Let me explain: Upon finishing all my papers for the year, I've had some free time this week. I decided to go to my local library to revive my lost love for classic literature. I decided to borrow Jane Austen's highly acclaimed Emma. When I got home, I decided to google some book reviews on Emma (being the literature nerd that I am), in order to get a feel for the themes, character sketches, etc.

I was surprised at what I found. Flabbergasted, actually. Did you know that Clueless was intended to be a modern-day take on Austen's Emma? I was appalled. But after reading some of the reviews, I guess I could see the links: Emma, a young, beautiful, wealthy, vain socialite decides to make to transform an underclass, naive girl into a proper match for some wealthy gentleman. She does this not out of concern, but to boost her own ego. This results in a series of matchmaking errors, and Emma's own realization of her character flaws. This is the same story line with Clueless, except without 19th century conversational lines.

So there you have it. Clueless was actually based on a very educational and respected piece of literature. Remember that the next time you watch a chick flick-- you never know where the inspiration for these movies come from.

Here's a link for the Clueless/Emma book/movie review:

http://www.lib.latrobe.edu.au/AHR/archive/Issue-August-1997/stern.html

Taming the Tongue

2007-12-09T13:48:00.001-05:00

James 3: 1-12: Taming the tongue. This is an awesome passage--if you're not familiar with it, here's a blurb:

" 5Likewise the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. 6The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole person, sets the whole course of his life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell.

7All kinds of animals, birds, reptiles and creatures of the sea are being tamed and have been tamed by man, 8but no man can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison.

9With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in God's likeness. 10Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers, this should not be. 11Can both fresh water and salt^[a] water flow from the same spring? 12My brothers, can a fig tree bear olives, or a grapevine bear figs? Neither can a salt spring produce fresh water."

-- Seriously, sometimes our words affect people more than we realize. Without so much as a thought to what we say, words can be detrimental, permanently scarring. Relationships break. I think one of the greatest vices is definitely one of reckless speech; reckless thought. All because of miscommunication and misinterpretation.

I remember when I was younger, I used to be quiet and shy. Then somewhere along the line in recent years, I sort of exploded when I discovered how many opinions I had, how much I enjoyed telling people what I thought, and quite frankly, surprised at how many people cared to hear what I had to say. Although I'd say I'm probably better these days at communicating myself my thoughts in a diplomatic manner, there are definitely days where I wish I thought more about what I was going to say before words flew out of my mouth.

That being said, I'm making it my new resolution to tame the tongue. So, I'm not going to be more quiet or docile in the least; but perhaps speaking with more discretion. It reflects more wisdom anyways.

My Month in 6 Points

2007-11-28T22:51:00.000-05:00

Mini update as always:

1) 4.5 papers of 6 done. 1 week left to go.

2) Signed up to help out with Global Citizenship Conference @ Carleton.... doing programming/logistical planning, etc. and fundraising. Other than sitting in the office for the first meeting with bloodshot eyes and 6 hours sleep in 2 days, I'm pretty excited to prepare for this. I am passionate about planning.

3) Sitting in the courthouse with EFry has inspired me to consider criminal law. Quite interesting stuff.

4) Sooo excited for WC this Christmas...been anticipating this since Summit! There's something so refreshing about meeting up with old friends I haven't seen for years and re-fueling spiritually in a 5- star hotel:)

5) I have an appointment with a career counsellor next week. My life may soon be mapped out. I have nooo idea where/doing what.

6) Starting to feel a little uneasy about leaving school.... up until recently, I didn't think I was really going to miss this university at all. But really, all the faces I've become accustomed to-- mixed in with all the papers, deadlines, nights in the library with my Toshi, books, random conversations with friends, smell of coffee and pitas... there's something about the hub of learning and youth that strangely excites me. This is why I'm certain that I'll be back at school in a year's time. I'm definitely not ready give up student life forever just yet.

Food for thought

2007-11-16T12:36:00.000-05:00

I don't think these cases are as prevalent today as they may have been a few decades ago (hopefully); but I came across this article which I found enraging:

http://www.lawtimesnews.com/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=3465&Itemid=82

Christians using a mixture of guilt and physical pain as a tool of schooling discipline is something I find disgusting. It's no wonder so many people are left disenchanted and furious with teachings of the Christian faith. Regardless, I'm glad this case is receiving some form of justice, although the scarring and humiliation must have certainly left quite an impact on these former students.

How to Survive November

2007-11-10T22:14:00.001-05:00

Survival guide for November (aka: the month where I write 50 some odd pages of international political issues and policy implications for a variety a classes within the span of 1 month)

- My newly donated iPod shuffle from my sister filled with her music

- Bandanna from the Children's Wish Foundation (tying something to my head makes me feel like a fighter or something... like I can toil all night long...perhaps it's a psychological need)

- Mug of green tea or coffee depending on the time of day or my mood

- My Toshi

- Warm scarf (to insulate hyperventilation attacks)

- Lunch bag full of various snacks: fruit portion, granola bar, some kind of cookie, sandwich (lunch), thermos (supper), bottle of water

- Minty gum (gotta pump oxygen into that brain)

- Cell phone to set a timer (to limit the time I spend on each subject)

Classic and Current Worship

2007-11-04T23:42:00.000-05:00

My aunt recently lent me her worship cd collection. A number of them were real classics... some of which I grew up listening to. Some old favorites for sure that leave me singing along in my room.

Here are some of my top selections:

Heart of Worship (Matt Redman's version is definitely my favorite)

Better is One Day

Shout to the Lord

Father God I Wonder

Lord I Lift Your Name on High (we had really corny actions for this song)

Shine Jesus Shine (also corny actions)

Power of Your Love

Days of Elijah

Lord Reign in Me

Nothing like writing a paper on compliance of international institutions set to music.

I'm 21!!!!!!

2007-10-20T13:49:00.000-04:00

Wow.... so officially I'm in this "20's" decade of my life..... I like this age better than being 20. Being 20 is kinda like being right on the brink of teenager and adult. Can't wait to see how the rest of this year turns out.

PS: longer post to follow:)

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*Edit*

Wow.... so I wasn't exactly sure what I was doing for my b-day... but I've got to say I have some of the best friends ever.

Highlights include:

- A pre-paid bento box of sushi by (I think) the boys who refused to identify themselves (the guys were the ones paying for me, right?? Or so they seemed rather elusive...)

- Taking in the joys of sumo-wrestling portraits

- Surprise cake with fake ice cream cones

- 10 minutes of Stomp the Yard (Jeremy needed to patrol his floor for sketchy crimes of 1st year students... therefore I drove him back)

- Having over 50 people wish me happy birthday on facebook

- Listening to my beloved new Skillet cd

- Seeing friends I haven't seen in months (that I never thought I would ever see again)

- Driving people who had no faith in my driving skills back safely to their destination

It's been a while...

2007-10-13T11:32:00.000-04:00

Mini update on my life's events:

- Postponed LSATs until June

- Have an interview with the Elizabeth Fry Society of Ottawa on Monday (volunteering to be court support worker with incarcerated women)...fairly excited about this

- Went to my last SUMMIT

- I have NO exams/mid-terms this semester..... just 5 papers and a few presentations and an endless thesis

- Still deciding on plans for next year

- Voted Conservative in the last election-- think I've been becoming less Liberal since I started university

Phoenix Rising: Monica's Chinese Soap Review

2007-09-21T22:57:00.000-04:00

How I spent Friday evening:
I just finished watching..... the worst Chinese soap opera series ever.....and for the record, I'm soo angry at the conclusion of the series, I've decided to dedicate this blog entry as a ranting review to the rest of the world.

The Very Twisted Plot
Ok, so there are these 3 sisters who were separated at birth (something about a poor family that partitioned off their 3 daughters?) in Shanghai at some point in the 1930's. 2 of the girls go to good families, the middle daughter gets sent to this really superstitious family who only adopt here because some fortune teller told them they needed a daughter as a good luck charm to ward off evil spirits or something. Yes. Very weird. So anyways, this middle daughter (let's call her PW as symbolic of her Chinese name in phonetic initials?) grows up to be really bitter and angry, because her parents constantly beat her and tell her not to marry, etc. so they can keep her around the house so that they themselves won't be harmed by evil spirits.

Long story short, PW gets really angry at one point and ends up taking her adopted mother's hospital bed (cause she broke her leg or something) and heaves it down a set of stairs, leading to her death. Her father ends up losing his mind at some point as well (ok, so I started watching this series in the middle...hahaa... this is my mother's recount of the movie so just bear with me), and so loses all sense of sanity and memory and common sense. PW gets taken to court and she is given the death penalty sentence.

PW, who is a great manipulator (because there is always need of 1 evil woman in all these Asian series), somehow cries her way into convincing her older sister to take her death sentence for her. PW pays this doctor to tell her older sister that she has fatal stomach cancer and so, she thinks she was destined to die anyways. Stupidly enough, her older sister turns herself in and tells the police that she was the one who killed her PW's mother. And due to lack of forensic science, the police accept her guilty plea, and her older sister gets sent to jail to await her death sentence and essentially to die in shame. The youngest sister is appalled at what happens and tries to help break her older sister out of jail-- she gets caught and ends up in jail for 2 years. So the bulk of the movie is centred on this jail and later, the asylum.

The Ridiculous Number of Deaths:
So PW now has 2 sisters in prison...both of whom are innocent. They attempt to break out of prison twice. Both times they fail. So it seems as if PW is winning--- she has all she wants right now in her life: she married this rich, handsome man and her in-laws love her. She's rich and a socialite. She sent her father off into the countryside somewhere so he won't bother her.

However to keep this lifestyle she ends up killing a number of people (who suspected her/threatened her position). Victims include:
- Her adopted mother
- Her sister's adopted mother (and her older sister witnesses this death and ends up losing her mind)
- Almost killing her older sister (she also hired this girl to inject her with drugs while she was in the asylum to keep her insane)
- She convinces her own insane father to attempt to kill her father-in-law--- he ends up in a coma

Ok and the most brutal and completely unnecessary death was when she personally bludgeoned her own younger sister to death with this shovel and shoved her body in a crate in the final episode. This is especially sad because her younger sister was about to meet this guy at the airport to finally accept his marriage proposal... and alas, she never did (I was more heartbroken than the guy at this point). Nobody saw this one coming. At the end, her older sister realizes her own stupidity all along (in constantly forgiving, overlooking PW's 'mistakes', giving second chances) and the fact that she was partially responsible for all the grief that the family was experiencing, etc. She takes justice into her own hands and shoots PW to her death and that's how the series ends.

How did I feel about it? Too much unnecessary bloodshed, PW should have been convicted in jail for all she did.... her death wasn't enough. Not enough happy, fluffy moments. Leaves the audience cold, empty, with none of those moral life lessons.

What we can derive from this movie:

1) Without forensic science and proper court procedures (WHERE were the lawyers??), you can get away with killing as many people as you want. In other words, the justice system sucked in China during the 1930's. But of course, this is just a movie...

2) Children should not grow up with inferiority complexes because this will leave them thirsty for revenge. Thus, child psychology was perhaps a key thing in this movie...

3) Don't buy into pity-stories from people who claim that they've "turned from their evil ways". Always look at their pattern of behaviour: once a killer, always a killer. Never forgive anyone that tried to kill you/drive you into insanity.

4) If you need to declare love to someone, do it right away because your dead corpse might be lying in a crate the next evening. Don't try to be all dramatic at the airport.

5) If someone deserves to die in prison, then just let justice do its job--- don't take pity on her because she's pregnant. Therefore, don't lie to get her out of jail. She's dangerous and insane for a reason.

If you actually read through all this, you need to congratulate yourself. And because of the emotional and psychological impact these movies have on my life, I'm gonna try to refrain from watching any of these until Christmas so I can write that PAPM thesis... :)

Adventures with OC Transpo

2007-09-13T22:55:00.000-04:00

Ok so this stupid strike at my school is getting pretty ridiculous-- no paper in the printers, photocopy machines getting jammed/broken, administrators not responding to emails, buses not coming directly to campus, students' CUTV tapes not getting delivered.....etc. Wow, what an annoying way to make a point at the expense of thousands of students.

--------
So I've discovered the secret to developing a backbone-- the more difficult and rude people you surround yourself with, the more tolerance/patience and diplomatic skills you will acquire. It was no secret that I had a ton of challenging communication issues to deal with over the summer that wore thin on my usually high-tolerant mindset, but after getting in a bit of a semi-heated argument with an extremely rude OC transpo bus driver a few days ago, I think I've developed an increasing lack of respect for authority.

So it was raining that morning and I was carrying an umbrella in one hand, and a textbook in the other hand along with my book bag over my shoulder. The bus came exactly on time, but when I got on the bus, I had to collapse my umbrella, but down by bag and textbooks, and find my bus pass. While the bus was moving, I waved my bus pass at the driver. Thinking he had seen the pass, I dragged the rest of my belongings onto the nearest empty seat I could find.

Bus driver: Excuse me, you haven't shown me your pass.

Monica: Oh I already showed it to you.... did you see it?

Bus driver sneers sarcastically: I don't think so.

Monica is slightly insulted that she's just been accused of cheating the bus system-- which by the way, she's never done... not even on the 95 (tries to remain polite): I waved it at you but I guess you didn't see it.

Bus driver: What, you wave it at the back of my head and expect me to see it? It's your fault you weren't ready to show me your pass when you got on the bus. Now you stand here where I can see it.

Monica (seething with anger and disbelief that the driver is speaking so rudely to her in front of everyone else on the bus): Here (sticks the pass in front of his face and gives dirty look).

Monica proceeds back to her seat and glares at driver because she knows he can see her in the rearview mirror. Driver mutters something under his breath.

So thank goodness I got off the bus 6 minutes later (because I had to switch). But that totally wrecked my morning for sure.

Re: Plan X

2007-09-05T23:38:00.000-04:00

Wow... so I got some really weird predictions concerning what I wanted to do with my life.

Some of my favorite guesses included: a) I'm forfeiting all career plans to have 9 kids, b) I'm taking some time off to pursue my dream as an Asian popstar, c) I'm working at some Jiggly Jello factory (apparently it's an actual type of jello??).

Ok, so Plan X consisted really of 4 different subscripts.... I went with Plan X subscript 2 (for now). Basically, they all involved me taking a year off before law school to do something un-related to school because uhhh I'm kinda sick of school?? But not sick enough to forfeit all future legal plans. This is complex, because I don't think my parents saw it coming at first... and I would have to defer my LSAT score for an extra year.

I've decided to do this for a number of reasons:

1) The median age of people entering law school is around 23/24 years of age. A lot of people start even older, after an additional degree. Most people have more working experience/life experience which will enable them to adapt better to the demanding environment of the legal service. I've read that many of the much younger interns that get hired during the summer at legal firms can sometimes be bullied and manipulated because of their lack of experience in handling work-related situations.

2) If I don't take anytime off now, I'll finish law school and write the bar exam, jump right into workforce and not have an opportunity to not work until I'm 65. I kinda need a break now. I have thesis to write this year, and school is starting tomorrow and I'm still semi-lacking in a topic.

3) Throughout my undergrad, I think I've really put commitments to ministry and to friends on the backburner when I really didn't want to. If I all I leave with after I finish school is my education.... that's going to be a huge regret for me. I'll become one of those people that work and slave and live for their careers their whole lives and then succumb into this cycle of losing life's purpose, and die alone economically wealthy but empty, etc. (ok..slightly exaggerated, but you all get the idea).

4) I have a burning desire to leave the country and go somewhere into the remotest parts of the earth and swim across an ocean. I'm 80% serious. I definitely cannot do this when I'm 65 with arthritis.

5) So I haven't done my QT's regularly for almost a year now. Need some time to re-focus on spiritual growth.

What am I doing??
Ok so I needed to incorporate all of my goals into 1 plan where I'd achieve what I wanted and my family wouldn't be in too much shock. Instead of leaving the country for a full year to do a slew of different activities I had in mind (ie: teaching English overseas, missions with an organization that caught my attention at Urbana), I'm going with the slightly more low-key version of this plan: I'm going to work for a year (in Canada in a non-Ottawa city), apply for law schools in 2008, but take this summer and then the summer following my year of work to do all the rest of the more interesting stuff I wanted to do. (I'm aware this paragraph is full of run-on sentences and I apologize.)

So my parents approved of Plan X subscript 2....because I will be earning toward my education as well. So we're going to have to see what happens. Since I've already started studying for this LSAT, I'm still going to aim for the Sept. test date, but if I'm not ready....then no pressure. I'll take that beast some other time during the year. But hopefully I won't have to deter it for too long.

PS: If anyone wants anymore details on this lifeplan of mine.... you can email me/talk to me, cause I don't want to turn this post into a novel!

Plan X

2007-08-27T22:52:00.000-04:00

It's hard to believe that school starts up again next week. Suffice to say, many of you know that it's hardly been much of a summer for me, and I can't say I'm exactly well rested for to face my final year. However, complaining doesn't really make things go away... sooo I'm gonna have to take this one step at a time and maybe come out alive by October.

A list of things to do for September:

- Finish my Honours Research essay proposal and find a supervisor
- Continue studying for Sept. LSAT/finish up LSAT prep classes/write the LSAT
- Help out with BPAPM mentor program/events
- Ensure c4c frosh events go well and no 1st year student looks/feels neglected/awkward
- Ummm... go to class?

So I guess I'll be relaxing at Christmas...hahahaaa.....

-----
This summer I've been planning and planning and planning my future career, life, etc. I've come to the conclusion that sometimes, you just can't know everything. While tossing and turning in bed one night after my French exam, I came to the conclusion that perhaps all my other plans were going to have to wait, and I was going to go with Plan X, against my parents' best wishes. I have to formally sit down with them and break it to them... and have to decide if there's a middle ground. Because there might be some shock and awe involved.

Plan X will be revealed once I get all the logistics worked out. More to follow!

Sit tight for the long-awaited conclusion:

2007-08-13T23:25:00.000-04:00

So I've gotten some mixed reviews on the last entry. Nonetheless, for those of you who are anticipating the follow-up, here it is! (sorry for the delay)

--------
There is so much more I want to say about this topic. But I'll have to save it for an essay or something. Otherwise, I'd be typing all night.

One night on St. Catherine's:
I'm not sure where this particular thought ties in to my spiel here, but this whole issue brings a flashback to my summer in Montreal 2 years ago: 1:30 am, sitting on the corner of St. Catherine's Street. It was late at night, but the streets seemed to be as bright as daylight. Police cars whirled through the streets with blinking sirens. Late-night clubbers lined the streets streaming in and out of bars, clubs, and other various entertainment facilities open at that hour. The stench of marijuana was thick in the air, mixed into the humid summer heat.

I sat on the curb with about 4 other friends of mine. One of our team members came up with the ambitious idea to pray for the red-light district workers throughout the night. So there I was, sitting on a cold rocky curb with my Bible praying for about an hour and a half. They knew we were there. Sometimes, they even asked us to stay. Some of them chatted with us. One of them asked us to pray for her specifically.

In those times, I felt so helpless. The reality of this situation boggled my mind. I mean, prayer just didn't seem like enough. These women didn't just choose to be in the sex industry. Some were runaways. One woman felt this was the only way she could support her children. I remember how easily one of the women slipped into a sleek black car and drove away. 10 minutes later, they returned and she slipped back out, and began to walk up and down the street looking for more clients. I wondered to myself, who were these men? Did they have families? Did they think it was perfectly justifiable to buy a prostitute off the street for a couple moments, never to see her again... knowing that she would forever be a faceless, nameless entity of sexual pleasure. Some would argue that since this is her job and so her consent makes it ok. Does it really?

The effects of our sexualized world has regrettably distorted our views of how to treat men and women. And as a result, many young people I know have gotten involved in situations where they are left feeling used up, violated, confused, and scarred deep with emotional hurt which can last for years to come. You don't have to work as a prostitute to know what that feels like. With endless scenarios of hooking up, breaking-up, etc. many men now view women solely as a means to sex. Many women feel as if they need to become these sexual entities in order to feel desired and powerful. I've heard the argument that this "experience" will merely help improve your judgment of what you want/don't want in the opposite sex. Is it necessary to go through that much grief and scarring to know that? I hardly think so.

My world, my life, my needs:
All this endorsement of an indulgent lifestyle leaves me wondering if young people are truly satisfied with what their life has to offer. Are we really that selfish? Relationships (if you want to call them that) often consist of the following: what can my boyfriend/girlfriend do to make me happy? What can they do to complete me? How can they make me feel good about myself? How can they satisfy my needs and desires? Selflessness is.... hard for most people. Relationships are not based so much on experience as they are built on individual maturity.This, by the way, I think explains a lot about why relationships more than often fail, and to some extent, why divorce rates are sky-high.

I'll finish up with this last thought here, and I'll finally end this series;)
What if one day, we realized that we cannot ever fully depend on another person to fulfill our need for love and intimacy? What if we realized how imperfect, flawed, and incapable we are of showing love and being loved? I'm not saying we should all abandon the idea of romance and relationships. But what if we were made for another love? Something far greater. Not just a knowledge, but a relationship with our Father in Heaven. Sounds crazy, perhaps. But just what if, we stopped looking to temporary satisfaction and happiness, and lived for an eternal purpose and everlasting joy that existed all along?

This isn't a religious rant. I'm just asking questions.

Part I: ** Warning: this blog will contain some squirm-ish material. Reader discretion is advised...

2007-07-27T20:31:00.000-04:00

This is actually an issue that I've contemplated extensively, and really wanted to share via this blog. However, I had a really hard time debating as how I could put my thoughts into words where I wouldn't sound judgmental/offensive/...overly conservative? But really, I can't... so here goes:

It's Everywhere:
It's in movies. It's suggested in clothing ads. It's on the cover of every Cosmo magazine. Teenage boys joke about it. University students feel pressured by it. Married men (and some women) hide it on their computer screens, hoping their families will never find out. Some women are enslaved by it through a destructive and devastating underground billion dollar industry. It's addictive. Apparently, it's tantalizing.

So what's the deal with our sex-drenched world?

I mean, I guess it's obvious that sex sells. But as I get older, it seems more and more the idea of sexuality not only penetrates our minds, but it controls our world, our economy, our society and us as individuals much more than we know. Most people I know have just accepted it... so is this supposed to be a problem, or how am I supposed to feel about this??

The University Student and Sexuality 101:
I remember passing through the tunnels on the way to class one afternoon, when the title of our school newspaper propped up on one of the newsstands caught my eye: "Sexy Carleton" (this was the Valentine's Day edition). Of course, being the naturally curious type, I swiped up a copy and flipped my way to the feature article. Lo and behold, it was a map of the school with random designated spots throughout the school where apparently university students happened to have had sex: the bleachers, the stairs under the Tory building, the gym, the residence study room on some purple chair... the list goes on. I wasn't sure if this article was supposed to humourous or a warning about the next place you choose to sit and hang out.

Sex, like alcohol, has become ingrained to becoming part of the "university experience". It's expected after a 4-6 month relationship, it's casual and you can get it if you're smooth enough at a nightclub. No commitments necessary if you both agree it's only going to last one night. After all, you're an adult now. You can do what you want with your life and your body. And you're probably living away from home. So mom and dad don't have to come home.

The amount of sex that happens in universities leaves me thinking.... on average, how many partners would the average person sleep with before getting married to their spouse? Is sex then an obligation, an expectation to be had? Or is it really just a natural desire that occurs, and people fall victim to it, and blindly engage in it? Think about all the failed marriages and relationships that happen, because one individual happened to "fall in love" with someone else. And they "just happened" to have sex.

Playing the Game:
Sex to many people, is just a game... you score, you hit a home-run; you use your best moves. At least this was the view of one teenage boy that I encountered on the bus a couple months back. I was sitting across from this tall, stocky teenager and his friend while they were having a rather loud conversation. This boy (he mentioned he was 16), bragged openly about his sexual experiences with multiple girls,and how he lost his virginity at 14. His explicit details were enough to make me feel embarrassed for him. I may have wished STDs on him as he got off the bus.

Sex is not a game. It was called "intimacy" for a reason. It's not something to be bragged about on a bus, at a bar, or with your friends. If you think it is, then you're playing with fire. It's amazing how many people still act this way, throughout their 20's. Personally, these people ought to ashamed of themselves. I don't buy the argument some guys give about acting out of "human nature". Perhaps restraint, good judgment, self-control, and selflessness are not characteristic of human nature, but these things can be learned.

*** Stay tuned for Part II: the conclusion to this argument: "Till Death Do Us Part".

No Turning Back

2007-07-19T23:07:00.000-04:00

Ok so it's official. I signed up to write my LSAT this September....and as there are more keeners out there than originally anticipated, all Ontario writing centres are full and I will be making my way to the lovely city of Montreal. McGill university to be precise. Which really isn't so bad (other than the fact that the test is at 8:30 am on Sat. morning), because I can FINALLY make my long overdue visit back to the city.

And thus begins my looong career path toward my legal career...let's hope.

Would you rather be.... slimy, decapitated and crippled or a cute little Asian girl??

2007-07-05T22:55:00.001-04:00

Ok, so I promise this is the last "Asian Women" related blog I will post for a while. I will try to change topics up a bit, but in the meantime please bear with me;)

Why you should stop calling your Asian female friends "cute":

Ok, so in addition to being probably short, and people getting your age somewhere between 2-4 years off of however old you really are (my sister once was asked if she was 14 when she was 19.... to this day she still feels slightly irritated.), if you're an Asian female you've probably been called "cute" at some point in your life. After the age of 6. And perhaps after the age of 25. Make that 40 -- we apparently never age.

Well, not that being cute is a negative characteristic. It's better than being told you're slimy, decapitated, or crippled.

I read a book over the Winter Break entitled, Asian Women: More than Serving Tea as some of you may recall. It's a really good book made up of anecdotes from various Asian women who describe many of the struggles that face North American Christian Asian women today. While I believe this applies to all Asian women, there's a passage in the book from Nikki Toyama that best describes why you should stop calling Asian women cute:

" We function in a society that has clear perceptions about who Asian Pacific Islander women should be -- quiet, demure, cute, not troublemakers. "I've decided not to call Asian women "cute" anymore," my friend Celeste told me. It seemed an unnecessary courtesy, but as the months wore on, I noticed the wisdom of this. My size puts me in a "cute" category, but it also creates barriers for people to take me seriously. It's frustrating how difficult it is to always confront someone's preconceptions". (p.166)

So I'm not saying that you should never use the word "cute" for an Asian women. Because well, maybe uhh we kinda are?? But if that is the only characteristic that you are associating with your Asian female friends then try to be bit more creative.... go for something like, "wow you're so intriguing", "tell me more about how you make that stir fry with tofu" "you're so musically talented. Could you teach me to play the piano as well?"... ok that's just weird... don't do that. You get the idea. Grouping Asian women into a category of being "cute" and "little" is irritating. Could we please have some individual characteristics?? Think about how annoying it is when everything you do is "cute": the way you walk, talk, eat, think, laugh cry, etc. Now you might think it's cute, but you don't have to tell her everytime. She can't help it if she's cute! And she's not going to want to be cute if this is the only characteristic you associate with her in the duration of her whole life!!! I mean, she could really get 7 tattoos, a buzz cut and learn to play the electric guitar....we'll see how cute she is after that. I digress.

To me personally, "cute" is kind of used more for a young childish, naive kind of little girl. I mean, when you're an adult trying to be taken seriously in the work force (or for me, my future law firm), being thought of as cute is not really a great asset. So if you have an Asian female friend who is 18+ years older, please do her a favour and learn some new qualitative vocabulary if you plan on flattering her any time soon.

Ok so bottom line: I'm NOT saying don't ever call your Asian friends cute!! The purpose of this blog is to remind our fellow non-Asian-female friends (actually, there are Asian guys who get called cute too... umm someone else has to rant about that one. Hahaha.... I don't want to make this entry super long) that sometimes an Asian woman wants to be treated as an adult. So remember that Asian women also have individual qualities that we would like to recognized for.

On Nothing in Particular

2007-06-26T22:16:00.000-04:00

Ambitious yet optimistic!

So I have about a billion things running a zillion miles per hour in head right about now. It's been a busy summer for sure, and not much rest since school. But I'm not really looking to relax just now-- I've got about a million other things to plan out for my next couple years. I made a list the other day of all the things I have yet to accomplish and apparently I still need to travel the world, publish a book--or something to that effect, read the rest of the other classical literature that I've always wanted to but had no time for, complete law school, learn to experiment with cheese or spice or something in my cooking.... I think I had a list of 20 things?? I'll get most of them done...hopefully hahahaa....

On getting old

I finally took a look at the courses I need to register for in September. I couldn't believe I had to scroll all the way down the page to the 4th year courses that I needed to take. Yup, I'm pretty sure next time I blink I'll be like 35 with 2 children and a mortgage. Well I'd have to finish that Public Affairs thesis first.

Why I love my city

One thing I love about being downtown again this summer, is the fact that I get to be right in the middle of the most interesting part of the city. At least to me it is. Every morning I cross through Rideau Centre (and try not to get killed getting to the other side of the crosswalk), and walk past the same shops with their plastic mannequins poised with some kind of fashion creation. I love the whiff of Timothy's coffee and cinnamon buns that linger in the air. Sort of a sweet smell right before I head to my freezing cold gray cubicle.

And then of course, there's Byward Market where all the street merchants peddle their goods from maple syrup to beaded jewelry to widely patterned shawls and scarves. And of course there are all those musicians and artists on the street corners, adding to the variety of flavour that downtown Ottawa has to bring.

I should have worked for a tourist agency.

Hope for all the Women 5'4 and Under ;)

2007-06-17T17:57:00.000-04:00

So when you hear about activist groups, you probably think of special groups of people representing a certain cause or belief not yet recognized as fully important by the rest of society.

But did you know that there are.... activists for petite women??? Ok, I so did not know that being short was enough to create an activist group, let alone a group of people who make a career out of promoting our cause.....hahahahaahaa...... Maybe I've found my next career choice right here. But seriously, when I first found out, I wasn't sure what to feel. Like being short is not like having a disability, or not having access the rights and freedoms set out in the Charter.

I was reading the paper yesterday morning when I came across this article on how "Canada's Next Top Model" has a height requirement for people 5'7 and up. Naturally, there was much criticism concerning the ridiculous body measurements, etc. But what caught my eye was the interview the journalist had with a "petite activist" and freelance writer Cynthia Cheng from Toronto. She pointed out that CNTM's requirements did not make sense considering the number of prominent petite women in mainstream media (aka: did you know that Eva Longoria, Avril Lavigne, and Reese Witherspoon are all 5'2? And Jessica Simpson is only 5'3. I personally did not know that Reese was petite at all.... ).

So anyways, I did a bit of Google-ing, and found Ms. Cheng's blog: http://shorty-stories.blogspot.com/

This lady focuses a lot of her "activism" on the fashion industry in particular. There's a Youtube video here where she discusses some of the ills of finding clothes that fit, etc. I think it's pretty funny, and quite true too! But in all honesty, I've never really had that much trouble finding clothes... only pants that need to be hemmed. But I love what she says about how "petite departments" only make clothes for people over 40 (I think she says this somewhere in another video?), and so young petite women between 20-40 are forced to be a) unstylish b) wear clothes that don't fit. Hahahaa... this I do find to be true.... I rarely shop at petite departments just cause I'm not really into the tapered pant leg look....

Her video is here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wxGVbnzV7vA&mode=related&search=

So to all my petite friends, there is someone fighting for our ummm cause. If you ever wanted to know.

The Asian Fountain of Youth

2007-06-08T23:15:00.000-04:00

So one of the advantages of being Asian, is the fact that I will never need to buy anti-aging cream until I'm like 40.

I was having a lively discussion with my mother this evening, about how we always keep people guessing. People have guessed me to be anywhere between 18 to like 38 (I'm serious). So really, I keep this look up for the next few decades and I'm good to go.

I remember when I was around 14, a couple of the neighbourhood kids knocked on my door, asking to see if my brother was home. When I told them he wasn't, they asked me if I was his mom. I was insulted for at least 3 years and it has been the source of many jokes in my family for years, and has also provided the lively subject of phone conversations between my mom and some of the other aunties. When I went to pick up my brother from a friend's house when I was 16, this other lady also asked if I was the mother. When I was 18, I had people thinking I was like 23.

However, now at age 20, I seem to have regressed. My dentist a few months ago asked me what grade I was in. My co-workers think I look 18. People ask me if I'm in first year university.

So apparently from this logic, I look younger as I get older. Or we could also reason this in being that I stopped letting my mother buy me these large wooly grandmother like sweaters from these random sales. She also gave me her old sweaters from the 1970's when retro became stylish. Perhaps when I decided to dress younger I also looked younger as a result.

So in the meantime, while I can usually tell the age of most Asian people, I suppose I should be content. I mean, I know other people around my age who are worried about wrinkles and balding. Perhaps this fountain of youth is something to embrace in the future, when everyone wants to look permanently 25.

Moms, Dads, and Rebellious Teens

2007-05-21T13:28:00.000-04:00

So during the summer months, when I'm home a little more, my mom always takes the opportunity to impart some nuggets of motherly wisdom upon her daughter.

One thing I've always noticed about my mom, is her ability to stick into every situation some kind of "lesson".

For example, my mother loves to read the newspaper in the morning. It's like her tool for teaching us kids about life lessons through whatever event and/or world tragedy that has occurred. Every so often, my mother will purposely fold over a page of the paper on the kitchen table in hopes that I would spot it before dashing out the door to catch my bus. She will usually cite out articles on successful Asian women politicians/lawyers, young executives dying early of stress attacks, a couple being so eco-friendly, they have given up on the use of toilet paper ("Monica, sometimes you can't always save the environment"), people getting divorced over financial problems ("Monica, you must remember the importance of financial security when you get married") etc. She'd do the same thing for my brother --- she'd point out articles about successful young boys doing something in the community, getting into Med school, and all that sort of thing.

My dad often likes to use the paper to remind me and my sister about the dangers of the world. "This is why you shouldn't stay out late at night". "Never trust older men".

If you know me well enough, you'd definitely agree with me on how strict and protective my parents can be. Things are far from perfect of course, but I am definitely thankful for the wisdom and judgment they have imparted on us.

Not to say that I had some kind of superior upbringing (as there are many days when my family drove me crazy), but I think that there is something to be said about today's parents letting their kids have waaaay too much freedom. Here's an example:

" I want you to make your own mistakes":

Ok, so I've heard parents say this to their kids countless of times and I just could never figure out the logic here. I mean, I understand a parent saying this to a young child who is trying to open a cookie jar. Let the kid use his/her own strategy to figure things out. But I mostly hear parents say this phrase to their teenagers. "It's ok to go out with your hormonal punk boyfriend at the age of 12. I want you to make your own mistakes". "I totally support your career to drop out of school to become a street musician for the rest of your life. I want you to make your own mistakes." Alright... so that's sort of exaggerated... but it seems to me that the outcome parents look for is, "if you screw up, you can't blame me". But kids to do screw up--- all the time; and then what are they supposed to do?

I guess the bottom line here is, parents have got to find a balance between being too strict and waaay too lenient. Perhaps that seems like an obvious conclusion, but sometimes, prevention efforts for future mistakes will earn a huge thank-you from their kids in a couple years. Just recently, I heard that this 18 year-old boy (lives in our neighbourhood) wants to move in with his first-time girlfriend after only a couple months of dating. Neither have yet graduated from high school. Apparently his dad says that his son is young and needs to have these kinds of experiences.

Why let your kids mess up their lives and then go through all the pain of holding onto the burden of a mistake when it clearly could have avoided? Sometimes "letting them make their own mistakes" can mean letting them accumulate shame and guilt that is not easily erased. The damage of these mistakes needs to be weighed much more carefully before letting kids launch full force into something they would deeply regret later on. It's like parents are afraid to be strict. People complain about "kids today"... but what about parents today?

Just a thought.

Getting Ready for a Looong and Busy Summer

2007-05-12T22:21:00.000-04:00

Although school's done for the year and once more we're back in the four month spread of summer, these past few weeks have been anything but relaxing. Lately, I've just been trying to wrap my head around all the different things I've set out to accomplish within this very short time period.

My summer schedule will take the following form:

Monday-Friday: Work from 8:30-4:30

Wednesday evening: review LSAT material

Tuesdays/Thursdays: Summer school from 5:30-8:30

Saturday mornings/Sunday afternoons: study for LSAT

In between all of that, I will squeeze in seeing as many people as possible before school gets even busier in my final year. Hopefully, I'll also be able to stop by TO at some point to see my sister...

Why Law??
Soo I wasn't actually going to let anyone know that I was planning to write my Law School Admission Test this fall.... but it's pretty much impossible to let people know what I'm doing this summer without telling them, so I figured I may as well release this tidbit of info. My biggest fear about applying is obviously not getting in--- I mean, news does spread like wildfire especially in the Asian community ("Did you hear? Monica got rejected from every school she applied to"-- seriously, that would be the most embarrassing thing ever.)

After much prayer and waay too much contemplation, I finally decided I was going to give this a shot. Getting through 4 years of undergrad is brutal enough--- to consider another 3+ years of school is not a flippant decision to make.

What's more, getting into a good school is not exactly easy. It's also intimidating to think that all the people in your classes are going to have way more experience and academic knowledge than yourself. I'm not even trying to play down my credentials-- it's just the truth. A lot of people who start their law degree are well into their twenties with a slew of accomplishments added to their name. Personally, I decided to apply right after undergrad because I'm getting a bit restless here in Ottawa. I just really need a change of environment, but I'm not ready to launch myself in the workforce just yet. And I haven't found any Master's programs that particularly interested me.

I think another reason why I was so cautious about letting the world know my plans for the future was really because of the general stereotypes associated with law school applicants.

1) I'm not doing it for the money: Seriously. I only want financial security. I don't need to make millions. I don't even know what the average lawyer makes. So when I tell people I'm considering law school, their general reaction is "wow, you're going to be loaded". But in all honesty, I would never take a job to make myself super wealthy. If I ever spend more than twenty dollars on anything, I feel like I'm splurging anyways. There are enough variety of jobs pointed at a Public Affairs major that offer good steady income to make a living.

I've been doing a lot of research on lives of lawyers, reading up on their "blawgs". I find that the legal profession has a unique culture about it. Even when I went to the Law School presentation at school earlier this past year, I found that to be knowledgeable about a certain area of law was something that was inexplicably intriguing. To administer justice is a huge task and responsibility that cannot be done lightly. At any rate, with all the research I have done lately, I figured that the legal profession is something that I could possibly incorporate into the larger portion of my career life.

2) I'm not doing it because I'm a genius: No, I'm serious about this too. I've never in my life believed I had more intelligence than the average person. Hahahaa... well not in university anyways;) Some people think that if I'm even considering a legal career, I must be some crazy scarily smart individual. Whatever accomplishments I have achieved are something short of a miracle mixed in with a ton commitment, dedication and perseverance. Thousands of prospective students apply to Canadian schools, but only a handful of students are selected for each university. I will be so grateful for any acceptance I get from the schools I apply.

3) I'm not doing it because I'm Asian: I think this was one of the biggest factors that pulled me away from considering law for the longest time....I sooo did not want to fulfill the Asian parents' dream of doctor/lawyer/engineer/something computer-related. It was the most difficult thing to distance myself from my parents' expectations on my future and to truly distinguish what I wanted to do-- what I was passionate about, and where God was leading me.

Well, that was a long enough post! I'll stop here.

My Neutral Face (or my creation of a neutral face)

2007-05-01T19:35:00.000-04:00

So I'm seriously thinking of decreasing the diameter of my eyeballs.... apparently people think I'm really confused or scared all the time at work. Actually, people think I'm generally scared or confused quite frequently in general, however my eyes get bigger when I'm trying to listen or concentrate, not to show fear. I have to adopt a neutral face where I show no emotion....however, that is going to be kind of difficult since apparently my face is very legible. However, I think that in the workplace, it's better to have an emotion-less face so that people take you more seriously. So in the next few months, I have to learn to adopt a pleasant-looking, non-emotional facial stature. That will also help decrease wrinkles in the future.

Just a thought.

Brain Teasers and Logical Lawyers

2007-04-21T17:30:00.000-04:00

Ok so aside from not keeping to my mandate as promised, here's a bit of an update:

- After looping my Chris Tomlin See the Morning about half a dozen times on my laptop for therapeutic reasons, I have successfully finished 3 exams in the past 4 days
- I've been scheduling in bonding sessions with friends in the upcoming week that I have neglected over the past semester (so if you want to bond, let me know)
- I've started one-on-one additional discipling sessions with a girl from Athletes in Action
- My driving skills are tons better now! Incrementally, I will be flying all over the city by the end of the summer. No more running through red lights, driving down the wrong side of the road and nearly running over baby strollers.
- So I've also been doing some contemplation of my future/what I'm doing for the rest of my life/how to bring income in for my future kids, etc.

I've been thinking about writing my LSAT this coming fall, so I've been doing a bit of browsing on the Kaplan website for practice tests/hints, etc. However this is NOT a set decision, soo there's still some room to cop out anytime soon. However, I found a link to some sample questions so I tried to do them just to see if I could. I actually got most of them correct, but they took super long! Here's a sample of one of the questions they ask (how they will help me as a lawyer in the future, I have no idea):

Logical Reasoning 5 Question Challenge

1. If all beaches were publicly owned, we would have to rely on government funds to maintain them. It is true that more people would have access to the ocean and beaches, but at what cost? If the beaches are not cared for adequately, soon there will be nothing left worth having access to. We should consider carefully before nationalizing more coastal property.

Which of the following, if true, would most weaken the argument above?

The public does not want additional access to beaches.
The government is currently responsible for the maintenance of all public and private beaches.
The public already has some access to many beaches.
Other property has been nationalized in the past with no complaints from the original owners of the property.
Some privately owned beaches are not well maintained.

I definitely got this one wrong after thinking about it for 15 minutes.... the answer is B which seems obvious now. I think I picked something far-fetched like E. I will be excising my brain all summer.

Just An Ordinary Day!!!!! (Alternate title: Of Ink and Soy Sauce)

2007-03-29T19:11:00.000-04:00

So today, as I was walking through the Uni- Centre of my lovely Carleton abode, I stopped by one of the information tables advertising for awareness of women's wage rights. I had about a hundred things in my hands: my scarf, my sushi, my chopsticks, my soy sauce, and my research notes for my international affairs paper. I stopped at the table with the bright purple signs and quotes from women like "My gender should not determine my wage levels". After chatting with one of the women sitting at the desk, I took a free pin with the message: "wage gap doesn't equal equality" and stuck in on my backpack. Feeling very activist-ish, I trotted down to the library basement in this very very remote desk area, and unleashed all my stuff on the desk. Excited for an afternoon of research accompanied by some spicy cold and fresh salmon, I sat down and grabbed the sushi box. But I couldn't find my chopsticks or my soy sauce. I realized that when I was grabbing a free pin, I must have them there.

Scowling to myself, I grabbed my valuables (aka: my cell phone and wallet and mashimaro scarf), I ran back upstairs to the Uni-centre. After retrieving my precious condiments, I raced back to the library (yes.... I run around the entire campus about 8 times a week). But my stuff was gone. Panic-stricken, and most deeply grieved for my research notes on global disease control, I glanced around the library. I noticed a small young boy, sitting in the corner by himself. Thinking it was odd that little boy would be sitting in an obscure part of the library, I went up to him to inquire if he say anyone take my stuff. Suddenly, a gust of wind came from the very narrow rectangular windows above. The little boy looked up and I gasped as I saw his eyes of flashing yellow and very thin pupils (kind of like tiger eyes). He opened his mouth and eight shards of teeth glistened under the bright fluorescent lights above. Then, 2 wooden bamboo sticks slithered out from both his ears-- my chopsticks! In his right hand was clutched my research on polio eradication.

"Can I have my research back?" I tried to remain diplomatic in such an uncomfortable situation, as all public affairs students are taught to do (to avoid spin doctors who make political scams out of nothing).

The boy merely made a airy hushing sound from his mouth, and out gushed a rich brown salty liquid ejecting out of his mouth---- my soy sauce! Realizing that there was no chance of diplomatic negotiation, I realized that my only option was to use force (since the use of force only comes in last resort in such legal matters). I grabbed my papermate blue pen from behind my ear, uncapped it and wrapped it in my mashimaro scarf. Just missing the soy sauce spray (and it was potent, because the sauce melted anything in its path-- it had some extra hot wasabi mixed in), I swung my scarf behind my head and threw the pen straight at the little boy's eye. Blue ink exploded everywhere and the tiger-eyed, chopstick-eared, soy sauce spraying boy screeched as he fell to the ground, and disintegrated into a pile of ashes.

And since this adventure today, I've decided that I will only eat sandwiches from now on with cooked meat.

****
Ok.... if you haven't figured it out, ahhhh only the first paragraph is true and the rest is kind of a figment of my imagination! Hahahahahahaahaa.... this is because I wasn't sure what to blog about and Danny Sherman told me to make something up. So, as I have been inspired in the past to use my wild imagination, I've twisted this tale into something you all can smile about. I really did leave my soy sauce and chopsticks in the Uni- Centre though.

This entry is dedicated to all those who have faithfully checked this page since I've stopped blogging consistently: this is something I hope you have found enjoyable to read. I will try to maintain my blogging mandate of once per 1-2 weeks;)

Apologies for nearly month long delay:(

2007-03-22T21:59:00.000-04:00

Contrary to what people may think... I have not replaced blogging for facebook. In fact, I don't see how it's possible to become addicted..... hahahahhaaaa... that is not to say for my friends who have taken up a courageous "facebook fast" to withdraw from its luring tentacles.

So it's been busy as always.... I'm actually really really sick right now.... arghhhhhhhh!!!!!!! Some kind of bug going around.

Re: Giving up sarcasm: so it wasn't really possible. I tried, but within 2 days, it totally failed:( However, in light of all this, I think I have become more aware of my sarcastic nature and will make an effort to cut back. Not too too much of course.

This is the temporary update for now... i'll write more deep stuff later.

Update on Reading week.

2007-02-25T18:52:00.000-05:00

So here's a mini update on my reading week.... it never seems to last long enough...

My vacation pretty much started on Friday when I went down to Scarborough to see my sister.

We went skiing.

It was the first time I've gone since I was 11.

I've never been sooooooo sore in my life. It makes me want to tear down the stairs in my house and move into a bungalow.

Walking in ski boots is absolute torture... how do you walk in those?? I still don't understand.

How is it that my throat muscles also ache? I think it was because maybe I got so excited or flabbergasted going down one of those dangerous bunny hills my jaw was probably hanging open in the wind.

Hahahhaaa.... it was a lovely time of injury and bonding:)

In other news: I confess: I do have facebook now. So go add me.

I've also decided to give up sarcasm for 2 weeks. I want to see if it is possible. Was this blog entry sarcastic?? I can't even tell. Hmmmm... maybe I'll just be smiling a lot and not talking....

Another Spiel on Health:

2007-02-16T23:06:00.000-05:00

So why did I decide to blog about health again?? I know so many of my friends and family complain about lack of energy, failed attempts at losing weight, never eating breakfast, etc. Eating healthy and doing exercise actually does make you perform better, feel better and be less cranky and annoying to the people you're around!

Oh and if you're reading this and asking yourself, 'so why is monica so tired all the time and slightly cranky near 8pm? That's because I don't sleep much, and uhhh I'm working on that.

If you know well enough, you know I'm actually sort of a compulsive eater. Nooo.... I'm serious! My lunch bag takes up like 5 lbs in my bag which is kinda why it's so heavy everyday. I did not used to be like this, however spending up to 10 hours at school each day studying and running around doing 6 million things kinda requires a lot of energy.

Monica's Healthy Eating tips:

1) When you are hungry, you NEED to eat. Don't just put it off. You can eat light snacks along the way, such as an assortment of fruits, vegetables, nuts, etc. You burn a lot of energy during the day, trying to concentrate on stuff... it will go a LOT faster if you take frequent breaks and refuel your body. Berries are supposed to help your brain.... I think. Almonds have good cholesterol.

This does not make you gain weight. Trust me. It's all in what you choose to eat.

2) The more colourful your food, the better it is for you. Healthy eating actually offers much more variety than you think. When going to the grocery store, you don't have to be an expert nutritionist.
Grab some new vegetables and fruits that you normally don't eat, some lean meats, whole wheat grains, etc. Food tastes so much better when it's prepared fresh! Stay away from anything processed or microwavable. Lean Cuisine may claim to make you lean, but it's still a frozen dinner!

Eating food can be an art... my friend Alison has made up a food blog where she's pretty much dedicated a piece of cyberspace to the culture of food here.

3) As long as you've had 3 healthy meals, you can still eat junk food (provided you're not trying to lose weight)! I actually eat junk all the time, but always always in moderate quantities. Healthy eating is not a prison.

***
If you are thinking about losing weight, I sincerely hope you're not following some strange diet plan or ummm even worse, going to some commercial weight loss program. Unless you have a severe health issue, or have been medically prescribed as obese... all you need to do is eat well and exercise a few times a week. It is that simple. Most people I've talked to usually put this off because it's an inconvenience. But I think the changes in the long run are definitely worth it... not only do you lose the weight but you're overall eating better, feeling better, performing better... the rewards are definitely there for those who want to take advantage of them. And it's cost-effective.

Ahhh that's enough for now... I'll stop here.

Saturday Afternoon-- A Poem by Monica

2007-02-10T17:54:00.000-05:00

Ode to the MacOdrum Library

(written during Monica's study break on the computers on main floor beside girls'bathrooms)

Your walls are red and white-ish beige

Your bathrooms are cleanest on the 4th floor

I love your comfy red and black chairs with the wheels

And the smell of Page Break coffee sifting through the air as the Austrailian-Asian girl talks really loudly above the coffee machines

Streams of students flock toward this hub of knowledge and literature in mid-February

Must you keep me behind your grey aluminum doors for so long?

I sigh as I watch the sun dip behind the winter skies

From the tiny square window beside my cubicle

And stare at the coffee stains on the desk

Left behind by caffiene dependent students

The pages of my Economics textbook are wrinkled from turning

Green and pink hilights dance on my notebook

The boy across from me smiles and talks to himself

I cannot make it to Girls' Night in the Christian Ghetto

Because the buses are weird on weekends

Alas, I am left within the walls of MacOdrum

Highly Annoying Habits

2007-02-02T17:32:00.000-05:00

So over the past little while, I've noticed some really annoying habits people have. I understand some people have been raised in an environment where they have very little emotional competency-- aka: they don't know what they are doing is really annoying, so I thought that I would be of assistance by pointing out a few things.

Here's a list of interesting/annoying things that people should....really stop doing:

Church Etiquette:

1) Fix your hair before you come to church. If you are putting your hair in and out of a ponytail like 8 times, it's really not going to look any better. And the people behind can smell your shampoo.

2) If you really feel the need to put your arm around your girlfriend, don't put your arm around her, then retrieve...arm around...retrieve.... until you pretty much haven't decided if you wanted to appear romantic during the pastor's sermon. And pleeaaase don't make googly eyes with your girlfriend either. Again, you feel an urge to be romantic or cute or whatever, just wait until after the sermon. Why can't some people wait for like an hour? Some people really have to learn that flirting during the message is actually really distracting to the people sitting behind them. Especially if the pews are really close together.

3) If you are actually really really sick, maybe you should stay home. Sometimes, it's kind of unpleasant to sit next to someone who sounds like they have pneumonia.

4) If you are trying to talk to someone 4 rows behind you, just get up and go talk to them or wait until after the service. Don't wave madly and holler at them so that the 50 other people also know what you did last weekend.

5) Sometimes teenage girls believe that church is like a fashion show. There's a fine line between looking nice and trying too hard. Save your stilettos for another day.

School Bathroom Hygiene:
1) Ok, I want to know WHO puts their gum in the bathroom sinks?? Can they not walk 2 seconds toward the garbage can? That is seriously the grossest thing ever! And who uses a wad of paper towel and leaves it to erode in the sink? Sooo disgusting!

2) Please do not EVER answer your cell phone when you're inside the stall. Ummm just wait until you're finished and leave the bathroom. Don't hang around the bathroom and have an avid conversation. I'm sure the person on the other end really doesn't want to talk to you with the sounds of toilets flushing in the background.

What's in a Name...

2007-01-28T19:26:00.000-05:00

Ok here's a 4 minute post (before I get back to my rather lovely PAPM paper):

So last night I had a conversation (2 actually) concerning one of c4c's favorite subjects (no seriously; it really is): marriage, but of course!

So I'm just wondering if I'm the only girl who would prefer to keep her last name after marriage? When I told this to a few of my friends, they were really surprised! I mean, I could change my mind potentially, but if I had to get married tomorrow, I'd probably keep it.

To me, your name is part of your identity-- it's like a label you associate yourself with from birth. Is there something un-Biblical about a girl wanting to retain her name? I don't think I want a hyphenated last name though; that's just too long. I understand a name is just a name; some people don't see it as a really big deal. But then how come so many guys would prefer that a girl takes his last name? If it wasn't such a big deal, wouldn't he not care?

Some people see it as an act of Godly submission and unity. So if I don't take my husband's last name, am I not doing my duty to uphold this union?

Let me know what you all think!

Facebook: To Join or Not to Join

2007-01-20T16:52:00.000-05:00

So come to notice an incrementally growing trend amongst my peers today: why is everyone on facebook???

Last week alone there must have been at least 15-20 references to facebook in various discussions made by people.... arghhhhhhh

I've also received a handful of emails from my dear friends asking me if I could acknowledge them as a friend via facebook.....

So do I want facebook? I'm just not so sure I want to be that electronically accessible.... I mean, do I want people from my grade 2 class tracking me down? Will communication be reduced to simply, writing on a wall?? Will random strangers be viewing my photos?? Will my popularity and social capabilities be assessed based on the however thousands of friends that I can find through this cyberspace community? Am I missing out on an electronic adventure that could be the high point of my youth?

This is an incredibly random blog...

Monica's Book Review: More than Serving Tea-- My Reflection on being Asian and Canadian

2007-01-11T14:43:00.001-05:00

So I bought this really amazing book at Urbana entitled "More than Serving Tea: Asian American Women on Expectations, Relationships, Leadership and Faith".

Although my attention span for leisure-reading has diminished significantly upon entering university, I must say that this has got to be one of my favorite books in a long time!

It's basically an anthology of 5 Asian American women (I suppose this also applies to Asian Canadians as well) on InterVarsity Staff who share their anecdotes about their struggles with ethnicity vs. leadership, stereotypes in the context of a Christian framework.

If you are North American + Asian (the women cover stories from a Chinese, Korean, Japanese, Filipina and Pakistani perspective) + Christian female, then you HAVE to read this book! I will gladly lend it to you if you are within my vicinity. Soo many hilarious stories and so much to learn from all at once. Chapter titles include: "Sticks, Stones and Stereotypes", "Pulled by Expectations, "Perfectionistic Tendencies", "Single Asian Female Seeking...", "Becoming Leaders".

The authors of this book challenge its readers to go beyond cultural norms and expectations, and to embrace the unique gifts we have from being a part of two different worlds.

------
Monica's Commentary and Reflection

While reading this book, I did some reflecting on my own interconnected relationship with gender/faith/ethnicity. I think some people fail to realize that being a second-generation born of another culture has a lot of struggles in itself.

Often times, people equate me with being either "Chinese" or "Canadian". But being "Chinese-Canadian" is a unique classification that I equate myself with. At school, my faculty is mostly made up of Caucasian people, as is my fellowship. I think in those places people see me more as being distinctively "Chinese", since I'm the minority. But among international Chinese students, or other Asian-Canadian friends, I'm apparently more "Canadian".

Best of Both Worlds:
There are a lot of "Asian" type habits I've picked up over the years: hours of Chinese soap operas, having to eat rice everyday (and drink tea), calling every Asian parent or elder "Auntie" or "Uncle" regardless of whether they are related to you or not, aiming for unrealistic academic goals, strong family/community bonds, family roles and expectations, protective parents, etc.

However, growing up, there have been a lot of struggles with carrying this Asian identity: people would automatically assume me to be docile, unopinionated, compliant. There were also times when I wanted to speak up, and felt afraid to, because I'm so used to not speaking unless spoken to (hence the fact that, in a classroom, most Asian people are not super active participants in discussions). Of course in recent years, this has improved.

Being Asian+ female has it's own unique struggles too: growing up with a very close-knit Chinese community can also have negative implications. There were so many expectations on your behaviour, appearance, etc. I don't know if this is a universal experience with all Chinese girls, but definitely it is one of mine. I'd always overhear whether people thought so-and so's daughter was really pretty, or whether her eyes were too small, or she was too fat, or whatever. Of course when you are teenager, this has pretty serious implications on your self-esteem if you got a negative commentary. I remember all too many times getting a "once-over" upon meeting some of my Asian female peers for the first time. I wouldn't get a "hello" but rather an arched eyebrow, and a quick glance from head to toe to evaluate my exterior.

The superficiality coined with being an Asian female has always been the one thing I disliked the most about my culture. As a silent sort of way to rebel against some of the cultural expectations of an Asian female, I always strived to be different (don't know how successful that has been; by the way). I wanted to be known for my strong will, determination and perseverance. I didn't want to be known as just being "pretty" or "pleasant" or "sweet". I didn't even want to be known as "smart", because I find that Asian girls are recognized first by their appearance and then their intellect (ie: "oh, ___ does so well in school, but too bad she's so unattractive"). I wanted a different kind of approval. I wanted some credit for intrinsic value and character that would override any evaluation of my appearance, and I sought to look for it in the other Asian females I met.

**Again, these are just based on my own personal experiences. They do differ among other Asian females.

So for my non-Asian friends.... this must seem like a really brutal culture. But really, it's not! All cultures have their flaws and short-comings. But through it all, as it is said over and over again in my book, we must learn to examine ourselves and our peers through Christ's perspective. We cannot be simply bound by what others expect of us, and what we seek to prove to others.

URBANA 2006 in Review: Part 2

2007-01-05T23:33:00.000-05:00

I think it's fair to say that faith for the most part is a journey. Or perhaps more like a journey down a dark, untrodden path blindfolded. For as long as I've been a Christian, there have always been twists and turns along the way, unanswered questions, impatient prayer requests, spiritual highs and all the like.

I think that Urbana came at the exact right moment in the year. Sometimes things happen that you can't quite explain: it's been quite a semester for sure... so stretching in many ways. Urbana was kind of like the final piece of the puzzle, the last block on a toppling tower; however you want to say it.

Above all, I think that a more personal theme for myself during this conference was one of humility. Again, because I enjoy numerical lists (and quite frankly it seems like the only way I can really organize my thoughts into a coherent manner), here's a list of the lessons I learned (all connected with the overarching theme of humility):

1) It was great meeting so many new people, but sometimes in an unfamiliar place with hundreds of thousands of faces, it can be overwhelming, and maybe a bit lonely. I remember one afternoon where we had a bit more free time, I decided to take a walk by myself and ended up behind a black curtain upstairs by the "Prayer Walk" (aka: just an open area to sit and pray individually). In places like this, I'm reminded that here at the conference I'm firstly here to meet with God and to heed His calling in my life. The focus is not upon myself as it usually seems (what a contrast from last year's WC.... hahahaha... being Piper girl and all where everyone knew me. Sometimes it's good to be in a place where you aren't the centre of attention).

2) Listening to all the different testimonies of Christian men and women from all over the world from so many different backgrounds, cultures and families really gave me a sense of just how much more I had to learn (ie: listening to courageous stories of an AIDS victim from Africa, a story about a Christian girl arbitrarily recruited into a brothel, an Asian-American guy who almost got disowned after deciding to become a missionary upon completing his Harvard degree). How is it that in such magnanimous situations people can still believe, trust and love their Almightly Saviour? 2/3rds of the world's Christian population now comes from the third world.... and yet we sit and complain here that God doesn't do enough to satisfy us.

3) With humility comes surrender: one of the decisions I decided to make was to truly commit my future plans and ambitions into His hands. What a shame it would be if I totally missed out on my calling.

So that is about as eloquently as I can put it.... thus concluding my review of Urbana 2006. I encourage all of you to check out the messages, worship and other great stuff here on their site (they are available for download too!).

URBANA 2006 in Review: Part 1

2007-01-03T17:06:00.001-05:00

So my laptop just semi-crashed on me, and of course it had to be the one time where i didn't save my blog draft... arghhhh..... hahaha

Ok, so this is the second copy of my blog that I will attempt to write:

It's hard to sum up into words exactly what I learned there.... 5 days of intense worship, seminars, amazing speakers with 23 000 other university students from every state and province in North America.

The message was simple: "To live a life worthy of our calling": but it couldn't have been communicated any better.

I'm going to explain more in depth the stuff I took back but for now, here's a mini summary of the hilights and memorable moments:)

1) Bussing down to St. Louis, Missouri for 25 hours can make anybody slightly crazy. Hence the fact that we all had bloodshot eyes for 5 days straight. We started off from Toronto--Guelph--Windsor-- Michigan---Ohio-- Indiana-- Missouri: By the way, it was SOOO warm in Missouri! You could walk outside with a sweater and be fine. I definitely overdressed! What a contrast from the freezing rain here in Ottawa. By the time we crossed the border, it was around 2:30 am (by the way, border security is uhhh really loose). We took a rest stop at Duty Free, since it was the only place still open. Imagine 40 Asians infiltrating this liquor/convenience store at 2:30 in the morning lining up to use the bathroom and to buy candy. Quite a sight;)

2) The worship was amazing: we sang songs in Mandarin, Korean, Spanish, French, Congolese.... really got a sense of 'global church' worship. The interpretive dance and drama team were also great too.

3) We had dozens and dozens of seminars to choose from each day, which covered such a broad variety of topics! I was definitely on the edge of my seat the whole time. Some of my seminars included:
- Gender and the Church: do spiritual gifts come in pink and blue?
- More than serving tea: The unique gift of Asian Women in Leadership
- Doable Evangelism
- The Uniqueness of Jesus in a Pluralistic World
- Sex, Sexuality, Gender and AIDS Through a Christian Perspective

4) Broken Bread meal: Lucky for us, dinner was provided each night (according to our assigned meal times, we would be fed in waves of 5 000). However, on the 3rd night, we had a "broken bread meal for AIDS” where we ate a simple thin porridge with sugar and other fortified proteins and nutrients—a typical meal that an AIDS victim in a 3rd world country would eat each day (one which was easier to digest and consume). The money saved by providing this meal was donated to various Christian AIDS organizations.

5) With 23 000 extra students in a quiet, sparsely populated medium sized city such as St. Louis, it can cause quite a stir. Restaurant owners would come up to us and give us brochures for ordering pizza, pro-life groups handed out pamphlets….I loved walking up and down the streets with my Urbana notebook and nametag only to see streams of other students with the same notebook and Urbana nametags.

6) Evening prayer group was great: we were pretty tired at this point at night (I think we usually had ours at 11-ish?) but it was great to connect with a group of girls to reflect and pray about everything we learned.

That’s about it for now… a very very short summary of what happened… more to come:)

Remember the Persecuted Church

2006-12-16T23:25:00.000-05:00

Well, I'm glad to see that my readers have not abandoned this blog. I guess the Cyndi Wang post provided a bit of a interest factor to get people engaged into my blurbs again;)

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Through my on-and-off again studying phase for my final exam, I've had quite a bit of free time since it's for this coming Thursday. In the midst of studying the expansionary monetary supply and a resulting fall interest rate, my brain screamed for a distraction. So I picked up a book off my shelf entitled, "Extreme Devotion". It was a daily devotion book my aunt gave to me 2 years ago. Each page was a short passage about the extreme measures the ancient and modern-day Christians would take for their faith. I remember bringing this book to my Discipleship Group last year and sharing a passage with my girls each week (during the Happy Fun Sunshine Lucky Girls' DG days:)

Reading through this, I thought to myself just how different Christianity seemed in the face of these martyrs. We often don't realize that there are still persecuted Christians around the world suffering unthinkable torture and yet have unshakeable faith. How easily we stray away here when we have been given so much. Guaranteed, our difficulties and trials which often make people give up on God are nothing compared to what these people have gone through. Christians in Eastern Europe, North Korea, China and various parts of the Middle East have been beaten, imprisoned and publicly humilated because they follow Jesus.

These Christians have been forced to choose between renouncing their faith or having their children killed before their very eyes. And through it all, I wonder, how in the world can they still believe in an Almighty, loving Saviour?? What keeps these Christians going when they have lost everything? Each of these truly extreme Christians have either kept their faith to the point of death, or continued to preach and share the Gospel only to suffer more torture. Through these unbelievable stories, millions have come to know Christ and have joined in the underground church movement, moving slowly throughout the world.

There is a pattern amongst these missionaries: people are won to Christ through their love, their devotion, and extreme courage. These Christians had nothing to prove, nothing to boast about except for their faith in Jesus. They didn't have flashy sermons, expensive resources, or a message of self-righteousness and political statures.

Here's one of the excerpts from the book:

Romania: Pastor Richard Wurmbrand

"You're lying!" Lieutenant Grecu screamed at the imprisoned pastor, Richard Wurmbrand. "Tell us the truth about your Christian activities and about others in your church! Here, you must write out for me all the rules that you have broken in prison."

Wurmbrand sat and quietly wrote down all of the prison rules he had broken. When he was finished, he added one final paragraph: "I have never spoken against the Communists. I am a disciple of Christ who has given us love for our enemies. I understand them and pray for their conversion so that they will become my brothers in Faith." He signed his name boldly at the bottom.

Grecu read the "declaration". His face softened as he got to the end, overwhelmed that Wurmbrand could write aboaut loving a government that had arrested and tortured him. "This love," he said. "That is one of your Christian commandments that no one can keep."

"It's not a matter of keeping a commandment," Richard replied gently. "When I became a Christian it was as if I had been reborn, with a new character full of love. Just as only water can flow from a spring, only love can come from a loving heart.

In the following months, Wurmbrand spoke of Christ's love many more times to Lieutenant Grecu, who eventually prayed to receive Christ.

Often times, we speak of "conversion" hesitantly since it is associated with forcefulness and prostylitizing behaviour. But really, conversion is a choice on the party being converted. And what is fascinating about this story, is how the most unlikely person decided that he wanted to become one of the persecuted.

I'm not trying to promote "extremist" religion-- I've already studied enough of what that would entail (such as the continual clashes as witnessed between Protestant and Catholics in parts of Ireland). Rather, these Christians leak into these countries quietly and powerfully and something about them just draws hundreds of thousands to believe.

This book was written by a group called the Voice of Martyrs. Check out their website here.